Sunday, January 26, 2014

Justin Bieber Is A Douche Too


A Short History Of Justin Bieber’s Year Of Troublemaking
(By Caitlin Dewey, Washington Post, 15 January 2014)
Justin Bieber performs during a concert at Bercy arena in Paris. (AP Photo/Francois Mori)Justin Bieber performs during a concert at Bercy arena in Paris. (AP Photo/Francois Mori)
Justin Bieber may be the worst teen pop star of his generation. That’s not a commentary on his musical talent or charm, but an objective consideration of the number of scandals 19-year-old Biebs has found himself in over the course of the past 12 months.  In case you’ve forgotten — or, let’s face it, weren’t paying any attention in the first place — Bieber has made news for the wrong reasons not once, not twice, but 12 times in the past year. In fact, his problems with both the law and his neighbors far predate this current egging drama. To wit:

1. March 26: One of Bieber’s neighbors in Calabasas, Calif., accused the singer of assaulting and threatening him after the two got into an argument.

2. March 28: German customs officials confiscated Bieber’s pet monkey, Mally, when he failed to produce the paperwork to bring it into the country. They later billed him several thousand dollars for the monkey’s care at a German zoo.

3. April 12: Bieber visited the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam and casually wrote in the site’s official guest book that he hoped Frank “would have been a belieber” — had she not, you know, died in a concentration camp.

4. April 25: Swedish police raided Bieber’s tour bus in Stockholm, finding marijuana and a stun gun.

5. May 7: Bieber and Usher were sued for $10 million by a pair of R&B musicians who claimed they wrote “Somebody to Love,” but were never paid or credited for it.

6. June 27: The Biebs was sued by a paparazzo who claimed the singer kicked and punched him at a mall in 2012.

7. July 10: TMZ published a video that appeared to show a very classy Bieber urinating in a mop bucket in a nightclub kitchen while also insulting Bill Clinton.

8. Nov. 2: While on tour in early November, Bieber yet again made headlines, this time with some sex-related scandal. The New York Post's Page Six alleged that Bieber had been spotted exiting a brothel while in Brazil. Then, a YouTube video sparked gossip that he'd done something less than innocent with the young woman featured in the clip. Bieber's camp has had no response on the chatter.
9. Nov. 7: Brazilian police charged Bieber with defacing a building in Rio de Janeiro.  Also on Nov 7th, a young Brazilian woman uploaded a video of Bieber sleeping to YouTube, which quickly went viral. 

10. Nov. 14: Bieber apologized to Argentinian fans for using their national flag to wipe down the stage after a concert in Buenos Aires.

11. Jan. 14: Bieber was detained in his Calabasas home while police investigated him in connection to a “felony egging incident.” A felony egging incident, for the record, is when you egg your neighbor’s house and cause $20,000 of damage.

12. Also on Jan. 14: During their search of Bieber’s house, police stumbled upon what they believe to be ecstasy, “molly” or cocaine. One of Bieber’s house guests, 20-year-old Lil Za, was arrested for possession; he then allegedly broke a phone in jail, prompting another charge for vandalism.  Bieber has since gone a full 24 hours without mischief, though that probably won’t last long. The L.A. Times reported very early this morning that detectives are currently testing the drugs found in the Bieber house and sifting through many hours of tape from his home security system.  Get it together, Biebs. You’re only lending more credence to those Lindsay Lohan comparisons.


Bieber Arrested On Drunken Driving, Resisting Arrest Charges
(By Alan Duke, CNN,  January 24, 2014)

Justin Bieber was charged with drunken driving, resisting arrest and driving without a valid license after police saw the pop star street racing early Thursday morning, Miami Beach police said.  "What the f*** did I do? Why did you stop me?" Bieber asked the police officer who pulled him over just after 4 a.m., according to the arrest report.  Bieber, 19, was released from a Miami jail an hour after he made a brief appearance through a video link before a Miami judge, who set a "standard" $2,500 bond Thursday afternoon.  He strutted out of the jail dressed in black, with a baggy hoodie covering his head. His pants appeared to be baggy leather. Bieber briefly sat on top of a black Cadillac Escalade, where he waved to screaming fans, before he was chauffeured away.

At the bail hearing, the singer, dressed in an orange jail uniform, stood silently with his lips sometimes pursed as attorney Roy Black represented him in the hearing earlier.  Black told Judge Joseph Farina that he had been retained by Bieber's manager. He said his partner had been denied access to Bieber in jail before the hearing.  Bieber was booked into a Miami jail after failing a sobriety test, Miami Beach Police Chief Raymond Martinez told reporters Thursday.  Bieber "made some statements that he had consumed some alcohol, and that he had been smoking marijuana and consumed some prescription medication," Martinez said.  A Miami Beach officer saw Bieber driving a yellow Lamborghini in a race against a red Ferrari in a residential area of Miami Beach, Martinez said. The cars were speeding at about 55 to 60 mph in a 30 mph zone, he said. 

The officer pulled Bieber's car over, but the singer was "was not cooperating with the officer's instructions," Martinez said.  "At first, he was a little belligerent, using some choice words questioning why he was being stopped and why the officer was even questioning him," he said.  He allegedly ignored a police officer's request to keep his hands on the car while he did "a cursory patdown for weapons," the report said.  "I ain't got no f***ing weapons," the arresting officer quoted Bieber as saying. "Why do you have to search me? What the f*** is this about?"  The arrest report describes Bieber as having a "flushed face, bloodshot eyes, and the odor of alcohol on his breath."  Bieber failed a field sobriety test, Miami Beach Police Sgt. Bobby Hernandez told CNN.

Two black SUVs blocked the traffic at 26th and Pine Tree Drive, which "facilitated an open road" for the two cars to race on Pine Tree, the report said.  The Ferrari's driver, identified as 19-year-old Def Jam recording artist Khalil Sharieff, was also arrested on a drunken driving charge, police said.  Sharieff posted a photo on his Instagram account of Bieber in the yellow Lamborghini with a woman behind the wheel early Thursday. "U know bizzle brought that lambo out," he wrote in the caption.  Another posting showed a photo of a Ferrari steering wheel with the caption: "Miami nights ridin thru yo city in that hot wheel."  A tweet posted Wednesday evening on Sharieff's verfied Twitter account linked to a video of him playing basketball with Bieber.  Bieber flew to Miami on Monday.

Another police department in the Miami area is investigating a report that some of its officers escorted Bieber's caravan between Miami strip clubs this week without authorization.  Opa-Locka Assistant City Manager David Chiverton told CNN affiliate WSVN-TV that "at some point, the escort took them at least to two locations that we know of."  "The police administration had no knowledge of this escort, and it is not the norm for those things to occur without the chief and his administration authorizing such escorts," Chiverton told the TV station.  Thursday's incident marks the first time the teen singer has been arrested, although he is under investigation on allegations of egging his California neighbor's home.

Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies used a felony search warrant last week to raid Bieber's mansion in the felony vandalism investigation. They seized Bieber's iPhone and the security camera system, which detectives have been examining for clues about who tossed eggs over a fence that splattered onto the next-door house, causing an estimated $20,000 in damage.  Deputies have also investigated reports by Bieber's neighbors that he raced his expensive sports car down the streets of the exclusive Oaks community of Calabasas, California, but no charges ever resulted.  One neighbor accused Bieber of spitting in his face during a heated confrontation last March. Deputies have responded to complaints about loud parties at Bieber's place. 

The Los Angeles County district attorney's office concluded it couldn't prove the spitting or speeding cases in court, so it declined to prosecute.  Prosecutors also rejected a misdemeanor battery complaint from a photographer who accused Bieber of attacking him in the parking lot of a Calabasas shopping center as he was taking photos of Bieber and his then-girlfriend, Selena Gomez, in May 2012.  "We didn't do this search warrant to send a message," Sheriff's Lt. David Thompson said last week. "That's not what we do, but we hope maybe that understanding the gravity of this will change some of the behavior."

Thursday, January 2, 2014

The List: 2014 (A Guide To What's In And What's Out In 2014)

The List: 2014 (A Guide To What's In And What's Out In 2014)
(By Monica Hesse and Dan Zak, Washington Post, 31 December 2013)
Houston in the blind.  It’s us. We’re out here in orbit, untethered, spinning, trying to dodge the debris flying toward us: jagged shards of computer code from and a giant wrecking ball carrying Miley Cyrus, who somehow got her hands on a slutty spacesuit. Rand Paul and Wendy Davis are up here too, and low on oxygen (solution: stop filibustering), as is Edward Snowden, who’s saying we should just head for the moon, where we can seek amnesty from 2013.
In what direction are we pointing?  North West-Kardashian? What’s that sound? The dynastic call of the Duck Commander? In space, no one can hear you quack.  You know who’d be good in a situation like this? Rob Ford. Rob Ford would brilliantly blunder his way back to Earth, or he would deny ever having been in space at all.  Wait- our radio is crackling with new voices. Houston? No. It’s…it’s the pope. And Sheryl Sandberg. They want to talk. They’re saying that to get back you have to lean in. Embrace the future. So we do, with a list as our instruction manual.
Hillary 2016 / Gillibrand 2020
Walter White / "Orange is the New Black"  
Cronuts  / Egg Creams
Mockumentaries  / Mockbusters
Bitcoin / Coin
Content / Context
Austerity / Restraint  
Jennifer Lawrence / Shailene Woodley
Tesla Motors / General Motors
Thigh gaps / Soccer legs
Citizen journalists / Citizen therapists
Pencil-skirted secretaries / Madwomen in the attic
Exposed brick / Brass fixtures
Uber / JetSuite
Dickensian sagas / Thin reads
D.C. statehood / Arctic sovereignty  
Color runs / Stroller derbies
Lorde / Betty Who
Kombucha / Drinking vinegars
The undercut for ladies / Fancy lady hair for men
Grindr / Hinge
Kirkland / Price First
The Dulles Toll Road / The Silver Line  
"Key & Peele" / "Broad City"
Asteroids / Calderas
Origin stories Orgy stories
Boy wonder know-it-alls Nana wisdom Donda Off White Food stamps Tanda tithing
Daft Punk Todd Terje  
Madea   Ja'mie
Introverts vs. Extroverts
Judgers vs. Perceivers
Disrupting / Distilling
Beyoncé / Beyoncé
Happy hours / Breakfasts
Team gymnastics / Team figure skating
Brussels sprouts / Cauliflower
Queueing for gadgets / Strategic Luddism  
Cyndi Lauper / Stevie Nicks
Denzel / Chiwetel
Soul Cycle / Gyms in churches
.com / .everythingelse
"This is everything." / "You do you."
Underage models / Model rights
Whiny millennials / Young invincibles
Logan Circle / Fort Totten  
Ferns / Succulents
"Keep Austin weird" / "Buffalove"
Binge-watching / Fast-forwarding
Green burials / Dying on Mars
Pot brownies / Gourmet marijuana recipes
The Justins- Bieber and Timberlake / The Bells- Kristen and Lake  
Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey / Allspice dram
Snapchat / WeChat
Sitters / PANKs
Boot camps / Sweat-working
"Call the Midwife" / Midwives for the dying
Russia / Latvia
James Deen / Stoya
Shade / Side-eye  
Deep-frying /  Spatchcocking
Open government / Open shelving
Fox's old white Santa / SNL's new black woman
Skeet shooting / Drone shooting
The Washington Redskins / ANY OTHER NAME, REALLY.