(By Richard
Goodman, 03 September 2017)
When I go to my bank to cash a check,
I give them the signed check and my ID yet they still want me to present a
credit card, possibly as additional identification. Why? They have
my ID- why isn't that good enough? What if I didn't have a credit card-
would I not be able to cash a check anymore? The kicker is once my bank
transaction is done, they say "Thank you for being a customer for 27
years." That doesn't get me any special consideration AND it makes
me feel really old. Thanks for that. I blame all the criminals and
idiots for adding extra layers of documentation and red tape to my life.
Another example- although I like that
chips are being added to credit cards, the reason it is being done is because
crooks made regular old magnetic strips too easy to steal. They are why I
have to insert my chip card into a reader at a grocery store and wait for it to
process and then get loudly beeped at when I don't remove my card the exact
second the sale is done. I'm not really going off on a tangent because
I'm angry about this, I'm just mildly annoyed and don't have anywhere to vent
about this. With the fate of the world up for grabs every day, how do
life's little inconveniences get soothed?
Stand-up comedians used to handle
that for me, but now they all discuss either sex or politics. Which can
often be funny but I want some catharsis about credit card angst, cell phone
culture and Taylor Swift's new songs (Shame on you Kim Kardashian and Katy
Perry- Look what you made her do!). You know, the little stuff.
Where is comedian Mitch Hedberg when I need him to make me laugh about stupid
stuff? I guess I'll have to get by with Whitney Cummings and Jim
Gaffigan.
This is what goes through my head on
a Sunday afternoon when I'm sitting around listening to new albums from KMFDM
and Queens Of The Stone Age, eating cashews and Toll House cookie dough, making
a list about the best heist and con movies of all time, looking over my Amazon
wish list for other things to listen to, and deciding if I want to see a movie
in the theater and if so, which one since there were no new "big"
movies released this holiday weekend, for the first time in 25 years, or stay
home and watch the U.S. Open (the tennis one). Such first world problems.
Now I have to decide if this is too
stupid to post to Facebook and should go on my
mostly-MIA-in-the-last-couple-years blog instead. And if I want pizza or
salad for supper, although Ben & Jerry's "One Love" banana ice
cream might be in contention too. And shrimp in some fashion. And ciabatta
rolls with cheese. Is this cookie dough laced with something
that's making me delirious?
