A Brief History Of Twerking & Miley's VMA Disaster

(By Joe Lynch, Fuse, August 28, 2013)

Two decades after its birth, Miley Cyrus discovered the booty-shaking craze and shoved it down our throats. Now it's in the dictionary. Here's what happened.

It started in the 1990s, got name-checked by Beyonce and Justin Timberlake over the years and then exploded into the stratosphere this week when Miley Cyrus did it all over Robin Thicke's crotch at the 2013 VMAs. Yep, we're talking about twerking.  Thanks to Ms. Cyrus, that particular dance move—squatting down, sticking your ass out and shaking it up and down—has officially super-saturated our culture. But while twerking might be new to many, it's actually been around since 1993 and has a storied history. So from its birth in New Orleans (as a combination of the words "twist," "twitch," "work" and "jerk") to its recent inclusion in the Oxford English Dictionary, here's the Definitive History of Twerking.

1993: Twerking was born out of New Orleans' bounce music scene, a hip hop sub-genre centered around call-and-response vocals and the endlessly sampled Triggaman beat. The first reference to twerking in a song is DJ Jubilee's "Do the Jubilee All" in 1993, which features him telling the crowd to, "Twerk baby, twerk baby, twerk, twerk, twerk." Much like twerking, the bounce music scene has been getting more national attention over the last few years. No small thanks due to bounce music's Queen Diva Big Freedia, whose reality show Big Freedia: Queen of Bounce debuts October 2 on Fuse.

1995: New Orleans femcee Cheeky Blakk dropped the track "Twerk Something," another bounce music track centered around the Triggaman beat.

1997: DJ Jubilee returns to the world of twerking with "Get Ready, Ready," which finds him commanding the listener to "twerk it!"

2000: Atlanta rap duo Ying Yang Twins' debut single "Whistle While You Twurk" described the act of twerking in (far too much) detail in its NSFW chorus: "Whistle while you twurk / Go head and start and make that p—sy fart / And whistle while you twurk."

2001: Bubba Sparxxx's debut album features a Timbaland collabo called "Twerk a Little."

2003: The first definition of twerking is submitted to Urban Dictionary: "To work one's body, as in dancing, especially the rear end."

2005: Beyonce's No. 1 hit "Check On It" features the line "Dip it, pop it, twerk it, stop it, check on me tonight" in the chorus.

2006: Justin Timberlake's No. 1 hit "SexyBack" features the line, "Let me see what ya twerkin' with."

2009: The Twerk Team—three teenage girls from Atlanta—upload a video of themselves twerking to Soulja Boy's "Donk." It receives over a million views in one week.

2010: Miley Cyrus goes to New Orleans to film the direct-to-video movie So Undercover and learns how to twerk.

2011: Waka Flocka Flame and Drake's "Round of Applause" references YouTube stars the Twerk Team: "Bounce that ass, shake that ass like the Twerk Team."

March 2012: Diplo & Nicky Da B's "Express Yourself" video helps the dance continue its ascent to ubiquity by featuring a seemingly endless parade of dancers twerking, including people facing a wall and twerking upside down.

June 2012: French Montana's "Pop That" with Lil Wayne, Drake and Rick Ross features the hook, "What you twerkin' with / Work, work, work, work, bounce."

September 2012: Juicy J's "Bandz A Make Her Dance" features the line, "Start twerking when she hear her song / Stripper pole her income."

March 2013: Video of Miley Cyrus twerking in a unicorn onesie to J. Dash & Flo Rida's "Wop" goes viral.

May 2013: 33 San Diego high school students are suspended for filming themselves twerking with school camcorders.

June 2013: Miley Cyrus twerks at Juicy J's L.A. concert. Video of her first public twerk session goes viral.

July 2013: Jay Z's Magna Carta…Holy Grail track "Somewhereinamerica" features the line, "Feds still lurking / They see I'm still putting work in / Cause somewhere in America / Miley Cyrus is still twerkin.'"

August 2013: Miley Cyrus twerks at the VMAs during her duet with Robin Thicke. It's the most talked about moment of the night, although many decry it as an appropriation of black culture and/or morally offensive. 

- The Oxford English Dictionary adds twerking to its vocabulary. 

- Lil Twist teases his Miley/Justin Bieber collabo, "Twerk."

- Diplo announces his intention to set the "world record of having the most people twerking at the same time." The DJ will line up a human wall of twerkers (i.e., the Great Wall of 'Gina) at New York's Electric Zoo fest over Labor Day Weekend.

And that brings us up to present day. If you're sick to death of twerking, Fuse News' Elaine Moran hears you and has crafted the perfect anti-twerk anthem. And to see what legitimate twerking looks like from a dancer who knows what they're doing, read our Miley-slamming interview with the Queen of Bounce Big Freedia and watch her upcoming reality show, Big Freedia: Queen of Bounce, when it debuts October 2 at 11/10c on Fuse.

 

http://www.fuse.tv/2013/08/brief-history-of-twerking?fb_comment_id=fbc_559560890758474_5353729_559949194052977#f2bd733327dda72


Richard's comments:

The thing I don't get about the Miley Cyrus VMA controversy/disaster is how everyone is making it about race instead of offensive behavior.  Much of the racial comments are pointed at Miley Cyrus's appropriation of black culture and black dance moves.  Commentators and notable black culture icons are saying that it was wrong of her to utilize dance moves that are associated with black culture.  That sounds to me like they are saying that white people should not adopt and integrate things that originated within black culture, that the two should be mutually exclusive and completely separate. 

You can see what this argument implies if you take it to the logical conclusion.  You cannot claim that there are still racial barriers and also get upset when other races  integrate your culture and behaviors.  What everyone should be condemning is twerking itself.  The dance move is basically a barely disguised sexual act being perpetrated in public and should not be accepted as proper social behavior.  Dancing should be a metaphor for sex, not a demonstration of it.

Miley Cyrus Matters

(By Brandon Soderberg, Spin.com, August 29 2013)

Even if you're suffering from think-piece fatigue, the post-racial nightmare that was "We Can't Stop" at the MTV Video Music Awards deserves your attention

The Miley Cyrus twerktastrophe is important shit, man. Yes, it's important even at this exact moment, when it looks like we're about to start another war with another country, and your Facebook feed is full of condescending suggestions that we've got bigger problems than Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter (dressed in flesh-colored underpants) grinding up against Alan Thicke's son (dressed like Beetlejuice). We do have bigger problems, it's true. But we can compartmentalize, and not entirely ignore this one.

This is a knotty, vital issue, spanning from racial appropriation to feminist concerns over the ugly, casual rhetoric of slut-shaming. And however you feel about Miley's wildly problematic MTV VMA's performance — a symphony of twerking, tongue-wagging, crotch-rubbing, and butt-slapping — it has already inspired a lot of great writing, including New York Magazine critic Jody Rosen's charge (and subsequent Twitter defense of that charge) that at its worst, the debacle tilted over into minstrelsy, as when Miley slapped the ass of a black dancer, reducing the woman to a symbol — something a provocative (and white) pop star can stand near and fondle and strip-mine for authenticity.

But it's worth noting also that the Artist Formerly Known as Hannah Montana's uncomfortable relationship with black culture has been fermenting for a while. Miley's rollout as a hip-hop-skewing pop star began in March, when she uploaded a video of her twerking to J. Dash's "Wop," sending a two-year-old song to the Billboard Hot 100). In June came future VMA showstopper "We Can't Stop" itself, an appropriately Disney-esque party song with just enough daring to make it seem mature, its video replete with American Apparel-style decadence (and a number of black women). Since then, Miley has stepped in it multiple times in interviews, explaining that she was taking more of a "black" approach (which to her is synonymous with strip-club anthems), further boasting that while she may be "a hillbilly," she can still "twerk." She even showed up in the clip for Big Sean's "Fire," trying on the video-girl persona for a few minutes. Her new album, Bangerz, is out in October. 

But this exchange works both ways: "Miley Cyrus" has also become a meme in hip-hop. The once-clever crack-rap trope where rappers would refer to cocaine as "white girl" has shifted to naming all white drugs after specific white female celebs: Atlanta trap trio Migos, for example, have a song called  "Hannah Montana." ("I got molly / I got white / I've been trapping, trapping, trapping all damn night.") Meek Mill: "Got a bad bitch in my Chevy / She's selling Miley Cyrus." Lil Wayne: "I wish we were single, like a couple of dollars / And when we get together, she be on that Miley Cyrus." Jay Z, even: "Somewhere in America / Miley Cyrus is still twerking." 

That's a funny, mock-poetic Jay line, actually. It exists to get people talking, of course, but there's a biting edge to it, a bemusement with the racial politics of 2013 even as it perpetuates this sense of a "post-racial America" — enabled in part, Jay believes, by his own rise to superstardom. It's also part of a song about how "you can't teach racism when your child is connected to the culture," as he told Elliott Wilson. That betrays a deeply naïve understanding of how racism is internalized, and/or the twists and turns racists' brains make to accept blackness while also rejecting it. But it's also instructive: Jay's perpetuation of the post-racial myth is integral to the marketing of mainstream music now. Even Mylie's.

This is all part of our current egregious pop moment, when the removal of black voices seems persistent and calculated. So much of the criticism of this year's VMA's has centered on the relentless whiteness, from Macklemore's filibuster of an acceptance speech to Justin Timberlake's epic victory lap. And for me, it recalled another terrible awards show: the 2011 Grammys. Remember that? Gang Starr's Guru left out of the "In Memoriam" montage; the Best Rap Album nod going to past-his-prime Eminem's Recovery; Lady Antebellum paying tribute to Teddy Pendergrass; Mick Jagger singing Solomon Burke songs; and Cee-Lo singing "Fuck You" (or "Forget You," or whatever) with Gwyneth Paltrow, who also sang it on Glee. 

At the time, I called the show a "great whitewash"; The Fader's Naomi Zeichner just said the very same thing about the 2013 VMA's. (Perhaps the shock here is that we assumed MTV to be a bit hipper than the Grammys.) That 2011 disaster sure felt like a terrible and significant event: At the precise moment when hip-hop was fully integrated into pop (not hip-hop as pop, but rapping as but one more signifier in every pop-music song), blackness was shoved into the background. Since then, the charts have grown yet whiter, and hip-hop too is suffering a whitewash: Mac Miller is being given a great deal of credit for aping the bugged-out qualities of MF Doom and other eccentric underground hip-hop, while Macklemore is not only presented as a valid rapper, but as a socially aware alternative to mainstream rap's excess. This is how Miley Cyrus happened.

As for this week's raging Miley debate, it often has the odd effect of pitting feminism (combating the clowns whose primary reaction to the VMA's was to make fun of Miley's ass) against racism; Jezebel wisely addressed this issue, offering a woman's perspective that didn't ignore the "incredible racist nature" of her performance. (There's been lots of great writing this week about the way white people objectify black bodies, too.) You can't govern what people — even clueless white people like Miley Cyrus (and the machine behind her, which by the way, knows exactly what it is doing) — get out of hip-hop. She deserves criticism for reducing rap culture to its basest, most sexually depraved instincts, but those who merely slut-shame her in response should invite ridicule, too.

It's outrageous, by the way, that Robin Thicke has shouldered none of the responsibility for the VMA's performance; he didn't exactly comport himself with any more dignity. And don't forget that Miley's father, Billy Ray, gained wider success by objectifying himself, too — within the world of country music, at least, shaking his butt in tight jeans and courting a roughneck, working-class appeal.  Cyrus' story in and of itself is unimpressive and boilerplate: Young white artist looking for edge and controversy, ill-informed about the world bigger than her dumb little Los-Angeles-by-way-of-Nashville privileged bubble, grafts elements of hip-hop culture onto herself in an attempt to appear "down," and winds up talking about "hood" culture and serving up "black is an attitude" nonsense as a result. What's shocking about this is that she's getting away with it, that people are indulging her, and that the interplay between white artists and black artists seems like it is actually growing more one-sided.

http://www.spin.com/articles/miley-cyrus-MTV-VMAs-twerking/?utm_source=em&utm_medium=dailynl&utm_campaign=090113&utm_content=article5

 

Your Flip-Flops Are Grossing Me Out

(By Dana Stevens, Slate.com, July 3, 2013)

“Some slow week in summer, I should write a tirade against flip-flops,” I unwisely remarked to my editor one disgusting August afternoon a few years back, as we walked back from lunch behind a woman whose street-blackened soles could be glimpsed anew with each schlapp!-ing step. Now, during an early-July lull between big summer movie releases, he’s gone and called my bluff. And the truth is, I’m not really one for composing tirades. I’m a live-and-let-live sort when it comes to personal grooming and style, and whatever qualities I’m remembered for at my funeral, I’m fairly certain neither hygiene nor chic will top the list. But the increasing prevalence of all-day urban flip-flop wear during the summer months is something we need to talk about as a culture.

I won’t deny that this ancient shoe design, which can be seen in Egyptian murals dating back to 4000 B.C. (the British Museum owns a 1,500-year-old pair made of papyrus) has its situational utility. On the beach, by the pool, showering at the gym, taking out the garbage, making a quick run to the Laundromat—all these are moments in which the advantages of lightweight, easy-to-don-and-doff footwear are self-evident (even if personally, as a non-fan of the feeling of rigid objects wedged between my toes, I’d prefer an across-the-foot “slide” in those moments). I understand, too, that there are parts of the world where the inexpensive, mass-produced flip-flop is widely worn for reasons other than aesthetic choice; in many circumstances, it may be the only shoe that’s both available and affordable. But we are not here to discuss the footwear choices of impoverished villagers, just-showered athletes, or Jimmy Buffett strumming his six-string on his front porch in Margaritaville. We’re talking about grown adults in affluent societies—people presumably in possession of at least one pair of actual shoes—who see fit to navigate the grimy sidewalks of large cities shod only in a loosely flapping, half-inch-thick slip of rubber. Those people—you, if you’re among them—need to face the reality that you are, in essence, going barefoot, and it’s grossing the rest of us out.

From what angle to approach the wrongness first? The crux of the flip-flop problem, for me, lies in the decoupling of footwear from foot with each step—and the attendant decoupling of the wearer’s behavior from the social contract. Extended flip-flop use seems to transport people across some sort of etiquette Rubicon where the distinction between public and private, inside and outside, shod and barefoot, breaks down entirely. I’ve witnessed flip-flop wearers on the New York City subway slip their “shoes” off altogether and cross their feet on the train-car floor with a contented sigh, as though they were already home and kicking back in front of a DVR’d Cheers marathon. We would all look askance at a person who removed his socks and sneakers on the train before ostentatiously propping his naked dogs in plain sight. Why do people get a break just because they happen to be wearing footgear that takes them 90 percent of the way there?

Then there’s the lack of support and protection the flip-flop offers its wearer’s foot. Of course, the same might be said of any flat, thin-soled shoe—but as soon as you slap a heel strap and a buckle onto that sad, flapping sole, my objections disappear. Individual sandals and clogs are subject to scrutiny as to their wearability and visual appeal: Tevas and Crocs may be aesthetic abominations unto the Lord, but at least they perform most of the basic functions of shoes. They permit the wearer to break into a run or take a step backward when needed (who can predict when you’ll need to sprint to catch a bus or help a friend move his couch on short notice?). And with their thicker soles and foot-harnessing straps, they at least go some way toward protecting the feet from the most egregious aggressors in the outside environment: broken glass, loose nails at construction sites, wads of gum, pools of motor oil, piles of dog poop, puddles of human effluvia. (If this unappetizing imagery is skeeving out you flip-flop loyalists, welcome to the mental world of everyone who looks at your feet.)

It’s tough to find hard numbers for the growing pervasiveness of flip-flops as city footwear, though the explosive growth of the popular, Brazilian-owned Havaianas brand over the past two decades suggests that wherever we’re choosing to wear them, we’re certainly buying more of the things than ever. But anecdotally, it’s evident that flip-flop culture is steadily gaining ground. In 2005, several members of the Northwestern women’s lacrosse team wore them on a visit to the Bush White House, sparking a national conversation about whether shoes originally worn to ward off fungus at the gym were also appropriate for trekking through the Oval Office. By 2011, the stigma had diminished to the extent that Obama became the first-ever president to be photographed wearing a pair of flip-flops (though to the president’s credit, the context—an ice-cream shop in his native Hawaii, where he was vacationing with his family—was entirely flip-flop appropriate. It’s not like he was meeting with foreign dignitaries).

I contacted some professionals to confirm my suspicion that flip-flops are not only unappealing and unsanitary, but actively bad for the health of the human foot. Dr. Richard Kushner, a podiatrist in New York City, stopped just short of committing to the condemnation of flip-flops per se—though he allowed that they left the foot more vulnerable to injury, and that any thin-soled, unsupportive shoe would encourage the eventual degradation of the structures that maintain the joints of the foot: “If the foot is too flat on the ground, there’s a clawing effect that happens with the toes.” Asked about the hygienic properties of the flip-flop as city street-wear, he replied, “That’s another matter. That’s something that I myself certainly wouldn’t …” He trailed off, joining me in a moment of anguished silence.

Jeff Gray, C. Ped., a pedorthist and director of education at the orthotics company Superfeet Worldwide in Ferndale, Wash., was more voluble in his condemnation of the rubber-soled scourge. “I see young people going through airports wearing flip-flops and I want to run after them and say ‘I can help you.’ And half their foot isn’t even on the shoe; it’s collapsed off the shoe. … I believe 20 years from now we’re going to see a whole generation who will have foot problems when they’re in their 30s and 40s—soft tissue problems, joint problems, arthritis.” I asked him to lay out the precise anatomical problem with locomotion via flip-flop: “Mother Nature knew that when your foot hit the ground it needed to be a loose bag of bones; then when you push off it converts to a rigid lever. Shoes are really a timing device that manages the transition between those two states.”

With the ordinary flip-flop, he continued, the “bag of bones” stage of the step lasts too long, leaving the foot in the pronated (inwardly rolled) position. (This would explain why flip-flop soles tend to wear out from the inside edge first, and why people walking in them often seem to have inwardly collapsing ankles.) Gray also believes that backless shoes in general are a major cause of injuries and falls, especially among older people, thanks to their lack of maneuverability: “Go and take the lug nuts off your car and see how well you corner.”

My final line of argument against flip-flops is a more nebulous one, having to do with their laziness and lack of character as footwear. Because of the ease with which they’re put on and removed—along, perhaps, with their generic ubiquity—flip-flops connote a sort of half-dressed slatternliness, a sense that the wearer has forgotten to do anything at all with his or her body from the ankles down. I was going to call them “foot underwear” (nomenclature that would be consistent with their older U.S. designation as “thongs,” a term still used in Australia) but that’s not quite right—after all, it’s not like you’re going to put a pair of real shoes on top. More precisely, flip-flops are foot robes, and seeing hundreds of strangers walk by in dirty, sidewalk-sweeping bathrobes barely held on with loosely tied belts (the analogy holds up all the way through) is no one’s idea of summer fun. Unless your daily commute is a stroll from your hammock across white sands to the piña colada stand you manage in Waikiki, please consider leaving the foot robes at home.

 

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/a_fine_whine/2013/07/against_flip_flops_put_a_shoe_on_you_slob.html

 

My Parents Made It Into The Newspaper

Interesting Quotes I’ve Come Across

Quotes 2019

“And now I know just why she,

Keeps me hanging 'round, (Hanging 'round)
She needs someone to walk on
So her feet don't touch the ground”
     (From the song “She”, by The Monkees, written by Bobby Hart and Tommy Boyce)

“Everybody longs to be loved and longs to know that (they) are lovable.  Consequently, the greatest thing we can do is to help somebody know that they are loved and capable of loving.”

     (Fred “Mr. Rogers”, from the documentary “Won’t You Be My Neighbor”)

“I finished my act and thought ‘I have just done The Tonight Show’.  What happened while I was out there was very similar to an alien abduction: I remember very little of it, though I’m convinced it occurred.”

     (Steve Martin, in his memoir Born Standing Up.)

“I realized I was dropping my ‘ings’ – runnin’, walkin’, and talkin’ – and I worked like Eliza Doolittle to elevate my speech.  It was a struggle; at first I thought I sounded pretentious and unnatural.  But I did it, though now and then I slip back into my natural way of speakin’.”

     (Steve Martin, in his memoir Born Standing Up.)

“I’m tired, John. I’m tired of working for a company that doesn’t care about my dedication or want to hear my ideas.”

     (Diane Vallere, in her murder mystery book “Union Jacked”.)

Quotes 2018

 “Sometimes I want to do that again,” she continues, “Find the staircase in that wall of noise and climb it. Because the adrenaline in that is transcendent, I know that much. I’m aware of what it is to be unaware, if you like. But there are other ways to do that.”

     (Katie Jane Garside, during an interview discussing her former band Daisy Chainsaw)

“Hiding and denying and being afraid is no way to treat love.  Love demands bravery.  No matter the occasion, love expects us to arise.”

     (From the book “You Know Me Well”, written by Nina LaCour & David Levitan)

"When I was 14, my face looked like a potato and a chipmunk had a baby and it was me."

     (Anne Hathaway, poking fun at her teenage self, on The Late Show)

After Roseanne Barr blamed the sleep aid Ambien for her racist Twitter rant that caused ABC to cancel the hit reboot of her “Roseanne” show, Sanofi - the maker of Ambien- responded to Barr’s claim that the sleep aid was behind her offensive words. The company tweeted, “While all pharmaceutical treatments have side effects, racism is not a known side effect of any Sanofi medication.”

“I've been searching for the daughter of the devil himself

I've been searching for an angel in white
I've been waiting for a woman who's a little of both
And I can feel her but she's nowhere in sight”
     (From the song One Of These Nights, written and performed by the Eagles)

“Road Trips require a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes- Oh, and directions.”

     (Jenn McKinlay, author of the book “Books Can Be Deceiving”)

Quotes 2017

“When Is The ‘Right Time’ For Black People To Protest?”

It’s wrong to do it in the streets;

It’s wrong to do it in the tweets;
You cannot do it on the field;
You cannot do it if you’ve kneeled;
And don’t do it if you’re rich,
you ungrateful son of a bitch.
Because there’s one thing that’s a fact:
You cannot protest if you’re black.

     (Daily Show host Trevor Noah in response to some conservative backlash about protests during the national anthem from NFL players, and about Stevie Wonder at his own concert, and a black ESPN commentator using her private Twitter account)

“[No man has the] right to mislead others, who have less access to history, and less leisure to study it,  . . . Thus substituting falsehood and deception for truthful evidence and fair argument.”

     (Abraham Lincoln, “Cooper Union Address,” 1860)

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

     (Theodore Roosevelt)

“My only advice for any politician is to be a public servant and not a party servant—because there’s a big difference. Politics can get in the way. You’re here to serve the people, no matter what it takes. Whether they’re a Democrat or a Republican, they need freeways and schools and affordable housing. They need clean air and water and good educations and healthcare coverage. There are all these things to grind out and do—and a lot of obstacles and special interests—and you can’t complain about it, because it’s part of the game.”  The new Celebrity Apprentice host, in response to what advice he has for Donald Trump.

     (Arnold Schwarzenegger, TV Guide, January 2017)

"Hey Donald, I have a great idea. Why don't we switch jobs? You take over TV, because you're such an expert in ratings, and I take over your job and then people can finally sleep comfortably again,"     

     (Arnold Schwarzenegger, 04 February 2017, in response to President Trump taking time yet again during an official presidential address to mock the ratings for Schwarzenegger’s turn on The Celebrity Apprentice)

"You ever regret going on vacation? 'Take the week off,' they said. 'America will still be here when you get back,' they said.'  You've got to give the guy [President Trump] credit. He can really get a lot of stuff undone.  From Obamacare to climate change to torture, he's already moved the country back to 2004. If this keeps up, pretty soon I'm going to launch the Colbert Report."

     (Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, 30 January 2017, about Trump’s second week of executive orders)

Bill O'Reilly: “Putin is a killer.”

President Trump: “There are a lot of killers. We have a lot of killers.  Well, you think our country is so innocent?”
     (Fox New Interview, 04 February 2017)

“Morning Joe” host, Joe Scarborough: “He [Vladamir Putin] kills journalists that don't agree with him.”

Donald Trump: “Well, I think that our country does plenty of killing, too, Joe.”
     (“Morning Joe” interview in 2015)

Quotes: 2016

“Pie - not to be confused with quiche, which is pie’s high maintenance cousin who went to finishing school and owns monogrammed flatware,”

     (John Oliver, on Last Week Tonight, November 2016)

“Some people's foresight is other people's hindsight.”

     (Me, explaining why some people make stupid choices and other’s don’t, 11 August 2016)

"That's a Trump-ian slip - when you tell the truth when you are trying to pander."  

The Daily Show’s Trevor Noah explaining how Donald Trump let his insincere support for the NRA slip out during a speech by saying that the number of guns his sons have frightens him a little. 
     (The Daily Show With Trevor Noah, 24 May 2016)

"The question is: 'Are we rock 'n' roll?'  And I say, 'You goddamn right we rock 'n' roll.' Rock 'n' roll is not an instrument. It's not even a style of music. It's a spirit that's been going on since the blues, jazz, bebop, soul, rock 'n' roll, R&B, heavy metal, punk rock and, yes, hip-hop.  Rock 'n' roll is not conforming to the people who came before you, but creating your own path in music and life.  That is rock 'n' roll, and that is us."

     (Ice Cube, explaining why N.W.A and hip-hop belong in the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame) 

Quotes: 2015

“It's good to have a contemptuous indifference towards your audience.”   

“You had me at brown and viscous.”

     (Aimee Mann, at her 2^nd Annual Christmas Show, sarcastically talking to one of the other performers)

"You know me, I never cry" - a girl who is about to tell you a story where she cried about something stupid.

     (Anna Kendrick, @AnnaKendrick47 on Twitter, 18 November 2015) 

I re-read the book “High Fidelity” and then of course had to re-watch the movie immediately afterwards.  I was struck by how different in tone the two of them were- the book was a meditation on wasting away one’s life and the movie was more of a romantic comedy full of quips and funny one-liners.  Both were excellent in their own way and had numerous quotable moments.  Some of my favorites are below.

“The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. Anyway... I've started to make a tape... in my head... for Laura. Full of stuff she likes. Full of stuff that make her happy. For the first time I can sort of see how that is done.”

“What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?“

     (From the movie High Fidelity)

“I've committed to nothing...and that's just suicide...by tiny, tiny increments.”

“Over the last couple of years, the photos of me when I was a kid... well, they've started to give me a little pang or something - not unhappiness, exactly, but some kind of quiet, deep regret... I keep wanting to apologize to the little guy: "I'm sorry, I've let you down. I was the person who was supposed to look after you, but I blew it: I made wrong decisions at bad times, and I turned you into me.”

 “Read any women's magazine and you'll see the same complaint over and over again: men - those little boys ten or twenty or thirty years on - are hopeless in bed. They are not interested in "foreplay"; they have no desire to stimulate the erogenous zones of the opposite sex; they are selfish, greedy, clumsy, unsophisticated. These complaints, you can't help feeling, are ironic. Back then, all we wanted was foreplay, and girls weren't interested. They didn't want to be touched, caressed, stimulated, aroused; in fact, they used to thump us if we tried. It's not really very surprising, then, that we're not much good at all that. We spent two or three long and extremely formative years being told very forcibly not even to think about it. Between the ages of fourteen and twenty-four, foreplay changes from being something that boys want to do and girls don't, to something that women want and men can't be bothered with. (Or so they say.  Me, I like foreplay - mostly because the times when all I wanted to do was touch are alarmingly fresh in my mind.) The perfect match, if you ask me, is between the Cosmo woman and the fourteen-year-old boy.”

“ ‘I went out with her before Kevin did. Only for a week or so’- I have to up it a bit, because if I told the truth, she'd think I was mad- 'But they all count, don't they? A snog's a snog, after all, ha ha.' I'm not going to be written out of history like this. I played my part. I did my bit.

'What did you say your name was?'  'Rob. Bobby. Bob. Robert. Robert Zimmerman.' Fucking hell.

'Well, Robert, I'll tell her you called, when I speak to her. But I'm not sure she'll remember you.'

She's right, of course. She'll remember the evening she got off with Kevin, but she won't remember the evening before. It's probably only me who remembers the evening before. I guess I should have forgotten about it ages ago, but forgetting isn't something I'm very good at.”

     (From the book High Fidelity by Nick Hornby)      

“That bottle of wine that you have in case of a "special occasion" and how 7 pm starts to feel real "special" when you got no other booze.”

     (Anna Kendrick, on Twitter, August 29, 2015)

“You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed... walk it off.”

     (Captain America, giving a pre-battle pep talk in the Avengers: Age Of Ultron movie)

“All sad people like poetry. Happy people like songs.”

     (Vanessa, Eva Green’s character on Showtime’s ‘Penny Dreadful’ show.)

“Mobile phones are vertical devices.  Turning it sideways is a lot of work.”

     (Troy Young, of Hearst Digital [Cosmo magazine], stating why videos should be recorded vertically for use by companies like SnapChat.)

“Marijuana, zombies and GMOs?  What could go wrong?”

     (Spoken by Murphy, on the TV show ‘Z Nation’ on the SyFy Channel)

“If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break, it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.”

“I know the night is not the same as the day: that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist, and the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started.”

     (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms)

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

     (From the movie Kingsman: The Secret Service.  Oh, and originally by Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms)

“The rule still stands.  We’re sensitive to all the parties involved, but if I call you a friend today, and you do something wrong tomorrow, I can say what you did is wrong but still consider you a friend. They are two different things.”
     (Vida Ali, the daughter-in-law of Ben’s Chil Bowl founder Ben Ali responding to questions about whether Bill Cosby still has “Eats free for life” privileges.)

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on” ...Henry Havelock Ellis

Yogi Berra passed away today (09-22-2015) and I thought I should include some of his stuff since he was the master of the quotable malapropism.

 “It ain’t over till it’s over.”

“It’s déjà vu all over again.”

“When you come to a fork in the road … take it.”

“I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.”

“Never answer an anonymous letter.”

“I didn’t really say everything I said.”

“I want to thank you for making this day necessary.”

“I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”

“We made too many wrong mistakes.”

“He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”

“You can observe a lot by watching.”

“The future ain’t what it used to be.”

“It gets late early out here.”

“If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.”

“If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.”

“Pair up in threes.”

“Why buy good luggage, you only use it when you travel.”

“It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”

“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”

     (Yogi Berra, said during the course of his Yankees career and lifetime.)

Quotes From 2014

 “I'm so humble it's crazy. I'm like the Kanye West of humility.”

       (Anna Kendrick, on Twitter, 2:15pm - 4 Nov 2014)

“I get bummed out when I end up being on time but I'd worked up a really solid ‘why I'm late’ story.”

     (Anna Kendrick, on Twitter, 2:12pm - 11 Sep 2014)

Said while searching for a cell phone signal…."How can there be no bars?  It's like the middle-80's!" 

     (Eliza [Karen Gillian] on the TV show "Selfie", 2014)

"I simply cannot understand how any parent could kill themselves.   How in the hell could you possibly do that to your children? I don’t care how well adjusted your kid might be — choosing to kill yourself, rather than to be there for that child, is every shade of awful, traumatic and confusing. I think as soon as you have children, you waive your right to take your own life. No matter what mistakes you make in life, it should be your utmost goal not to traumatize your kids. So, you don’t kill yourself."

     (Henry Rollins, from an opinion letter to the LA Times , 21 August 2014)

“My family has always been private about our time spent together,” she said in a statement. “It was our way of keeping one thing that was ours, with a man we shared with an entire world. But now that’s gone, and I feel stripped bare. My last day with him was his birthday”–July 21, three weeks before his death–“and I will be forever grateful that my brothers and I got to spend that time alone with him, sharing gifts and laughter. He was always warm, even in his darkest moments. While I’ll never, ever understand how he could be loved so deeply and not find it in his heart to stay, there’s minor comfort in knowing our grief and loss, in some small way, is shared with millions.”

     (Zelda Williams, commenting on her father's- Robin William’s- suicide, Time Magazine, 14  

     August 2014, also validating comments Henry Rollins was forced to apologize for )

"I always thought of disco as a beautiful woman with no brain."

     (By Mark Mothersbaugh, Esquire magazine, February 2014)

 

"In the mid-seventies, I saw a Burger King commercial on TV.  they had taken Pachelbel 's "canon", which was a beautiful piece of classical music, and turn it into: 'hold the pickle/hold the lettuce/special orders don't upset us/all we ask is that you let us/serve it you way.'  And I was like, Oh my God!  they know how to change how people think.  They know how to make people do things.  They don't use rebellion.  They use subversion!  I thought, It's so evil, yet it's perfect!"

     (By Mark Mothersbaugh, Esquire magazine, February 2014)

“A book I consider grossly overrated- On the Road (by Jack Kerouc).  I hate that book.  What a stupid book.  What a limp, flaccid, impotent little manifesto of a book.”

     (By Joshua Ferris, author of “Then We Came To An End” and “To Rise Again at a Decent Hour”)

“By now I had learned something about the psychology behind the way a guy asks for chips,” writes Bloom. “Wanting to be overstocked or short-stacked at a table is a clear indication of playing style and ego. Whereas some guys want the tallest piles they can manage, the better to bully the table and scare people, Ben’s buy-in choice told me that he was a smart player who liked to limit his downside, especially at a table with a bunch of guys he wasn’t used to playing with.”

     (By Molly Bloom, Vanity Fair except from her book, July 2014)

Quotes From 2013

"Thank you for this lovely blunt object that I will forever use as a weapon against self-doubt"

     (By Anne Hathaway, after winning Best Supporting Actress at the 2013 GoldenGlobes.)

On Agreeableness: "I get pissed off every time somebody says to me, 'No problem.' I don't care if it's a problem or not! That's your job. Do it! You're not there to evaluate whether or not it's a problem. How 'bout 'As you wish, sir.' "

     (By Alan Arkin, during an Esquire magazine interview, February 2013)

Finn: [to Rachel] You and I both know how this thing ends. I don't know how, or when, and I don't care where you're living or what dope you're shacked up with. You're my girlfriend. We are endgame. I know that and you know that.

     (Glee, Valentine’s Day episode, February 14^th, 2013)

Stewie’s Advice For Seth McFarlane When Hosting The Oscars:

1)   “If ‘Ted’ wins for Best Picture, make sure you- ha ha, just kidding!”
2)   “When you first come out, make sure you wear a name tag.  No one over 40 knows who you are.”
3)   “Let Nick Nolte sniff your hand before you try to touch him.”
4)   “Wear a black ribbon in memory of all the other ribbons.”
5)   “Say we need to find a cure for some fake disease and see if anyone claps.”
6)   “Chris Rock, David Letterman, Anne Hathaway, James Franco, and Hugh Jackman are all trained performers.  But I’m sure you’ll do great.”
                                                (From Entertainment Weekly, 22 Feb 2013)

“Yes, I’m disappointed.  I was so sure of myself.  But I know God loves me and I just pray that He will…. punish them.  All of them.”

         (Mandy [Kristen Bell], after not getting picked on Burning Love (a reality dating show parody.)

"Musicians want to be the loud voice for so many quiet hearts." - Billy Joel

"A colored is a very frightened-to-death Afro-American.  A Negro is one that makes it in the system, and he wants to be white.  A nigger, he's loud and boisterous, wants to be seen.  Nobody likes a nigger.  A black man has pride.  He wants to build, he wants to make his race mean something.  Wants to have a culture and art forms.  And he's not prejudiced.  I am a black American man.  Now you go ahead and print it."

     (James Brown, 1982, from an article in Rolling Stone)

"I like the idea of me doing my job more than the idea of someone else doing my job"

     (Antonio Banderas, in the movie Haywire, January 2012)

“The new album by Little Boots could serve as a good insurance policy against the new Daft Punk album being a disappointment.” - Chris Richards, Washington Post review of the new album by Little Boots (May 6, 2013), summing up exactly how anticipated the new Daft Punk album is, and it is not likely to live up to expectations.

 

"'It's wearing on him [Macklemore] in private', the producer Ryan Lewis says.  'In public he tries as hard as he can to care for people and not be an asshole.  Nobody wants to be Kanye, you know?'"

     (Rolling Stone magazine, 29 August 2013)

"Who here actually thinks I would do '50 Shades Of Grey' as a movie?  Like really.  For real.  In real life."

     -Emma Watson, via Twitter, addressing rumors that she might be up for a role in the adaptation of the steamy book.

Edgar Wright: "The movie is essentially [Simon Pegg's character] bringing about his own intervention."

Simon Pegg: "It's not in any way unintentional that there are 12 steps to him having this showdown with a higher power.  Every now and then people will see it and go, 'I really want to go on a pub crawl.'  And I think that's not really what we are getting at.  It's not a love letter to alcohol at all."
     (Entertainment Weekly interview, 30 August 2013)

“There's something scary about stupidity made coherent.”

     (The Real Thing, a play by Tom Stoppard)

From Astonishing X-Men Volume 1 (Written by Joss Whedon):

Beast- “What’s this all about?”, referring to a fight between Wolverine and Cyclops about Jean Grey’s death.

Emma Frost: “What do you think?  Superpowers.  A scintillating wit and the best body money can buy… and I still rate below a corpse.”

Kitty: “Okay, I officially really, really don’t know why I’m here.  I’m not a fighter, not like you guys”

Logan: “You’ve been in it plenty, kid.  I’d take you at my back any day.”
Scott: “But you’re not a fighter.  Your power isn’t aggressive, it’s protective.  That’s good to show.  And people like you.  Hank’s articulate as anything but what people see is mostly, well, a beast.  Emma’s a former villain, Logan’s a thug.”
Logan: “Born and bred.”
Scott: “And me… I can lead a team.  But I haven’t looked anyone in the eyes since I was fifteen.”
Kitty: “So I’m what- a P.R. stunt?”
Emma: “Yes, our own poster child.  Isn’t it sweet?  ‘The non-threatening Shadowcat’.  Or ‘Sprite’, or ‘Ariel’ or whatever incredibly unimpressive name you’re using nowadays.”

Lyrics to the song “With A Girl Like You” [1967] by The Troggs

“I want to spend my life with a girl like you

And do all the things that you want me to
Till that time has come
That we might live as one
Can I dance with you

I tell by the way you dress that you're so refined

And by the way you talk that you're just my kind

Girl why should it be

That you don't notice me
Can I dance with you

Baby baby is there no chance

I can take you for the last dance
All night long yeah I've been waiting
Now there'll be no hesitating

So before this dance has reached the end

To you across the floor my love I'll send
I just hope and pray that I'll find a way to say
Can I dance with you”

Quotes From 2012

“I am in the shallow end of a very dark pool”

           (June, from the TV show Don’t Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23)

“I guess I have to go but I’d prefer to stay”

          (Daniel Day Lewis, as Lincoln, in the movie Lincoln)

Rolling Stone: What do you want for Christmas?

Ke$ha: I want an adult baby stroller so my managers can stroll me around to interviews while I drink Slurpees.
Rolling Stone: Really?  Slurpees?  No booze?
Ke$ha: I just love 7-Eleven.  If the world was ending in 20 minutes, I'd walk across the street to 7-Eleven and hang out there with my cat, Mr. Peeps.  7-Eleven makes me really happy.  It's a one-stop shop, it's open all night, and the green and red colors make me feel safe.
     (From a Rolling Stone Interview with musician/performer Ke$ha)

“I gotta join that group (AA).   I used to have a liquor cabinet but now I just have a cabinet.”

     - heard at a poker game.

Quotes from the movie “Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World”:

Penny: Is she the one that got away?

Dodge: Well they all got away but... she was the first.

Penny: I wish we met each other a long time ago. When we were kids.

Dodge: It couldn't have happened any other way. It had to happen now.
Penny: But it isn't enough time--
Dodge: It never would have been.

Penny: I won't steal anything, if you promise not to rape me.

Dodge: Okay.

Penny: I don't know, I just... I love records. I mean, they're not for everyone, you know? You really have to take care of vinyl. It's very delicate, it can get wrecked so easily. You really have to love it. Do you hear how full it sounds? Now, what you want to buy is a thicker record. They're more stable. The grooves in them are sort of deeper and wider. You get more detail. I mean, they're harder to carry around 'cause they're heavier, but they're worth it.

Penny: You're a really nice person.

Dodge: You are an awful judge of character.

Radio Announcer: "The final mission to save mankind has failed...the 70 mile wide asteroid known as 'Matilda' is set to collide with Earth in exactly three weeks time, and we'll be bringing you our countdown to the end of days, along with all your classic rock favorites."

Quotes From 2005 thru 2011

"Going on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!”

                               …..Jewell Staite in the movie "Serenity"

"Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bull's-eye."

                              …..Vince Vaughn in the movie "Wedding Crashers"

“The individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist.  The person is real and the feelings are real but you create the context.  They’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone… but for the rest of your life they will control how you feel about everyone else.  If someone asked Quincy to rank the romantic relationships of her life, I think I would place third of fourth.  I might even end up seventh, which is a difficult thing to admit.  But she will always be No. 1 for me, no matter whom I meet, and that has far more to do with me than it does with her.  And now she’s officially gone, just as Lenore is figuratively gone and Diane is potentially gone.  I’m still alive, but I feel myself dying, person by person by person by person.”  

        …..Chuck Klosterman, in the book “Killing Yourself To Live”

And more from the year’s most quotable movie, “Serenity”:

“If there's any fighting, you fall down or run away.  It's okay to leave them to die.”

                             …..Dr. Simon Tam, to River

The Operative: “I want to resolve this like civilized men.  I'm not threatening you. I'm unarmed.”

Capt. Mal Reynolds: “Good.” [Shoots Operative in the chest, grabs Inara and gets ready to leave]
The Operative: [grabs Mal from behind] “I am, however, wearing full body armor. I am not a moron!”

Mal: “I've staked my crew's life on the theory that you're a person, actual and whole, and if I'm wrong you'd best shoot me now... [River cocks the gun she is pointing at Mal] Or, we could talk more.”

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [Over the ship's intercom]  “This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight... turbulence and then explode.”

Jayne Cobb:  “We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode!”

River Tam:  “Put a bullet to me. Bullet in the brain pan, squish.”

"I'm not Prince or Rivers Cuomo who brags about having hundreds of great songs," Reznor said. "And to that I would say, Prince, if you have a hundred great songs or a thousand, how about picking a few and putting them on a record because your last several have sucked. Same for you, Rivers. I say that constructively, you know. I might be happy and engaged, but I can still be a prick."  

                   -- Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails), in July 2009 Spin magazine interview

"Your child may be an honor roll student but your driving sucks."...  Seen on a bumper sticker while driving to work this morning.

Michael Caine

Oscar-Winning supporting role: A compassionate doctor in 1999's The Cider House Rules
Box office for winning film: $57.5 million, Number of roles within five years of Oscar win: 13
Why him: With an earlier supporting win for 1986's Hannah and Her Sisters, the British actor rarely turns down work, including his gig as manservent Alfred in the recent Batman franchise. His philosophy: "First of all, I choose the great roles, and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones, and if they don't come, I choose the ones that pay the rent."

Onstage And Off, They Said A Mouthful At The Oscars

(By Susan Wloszczyna, USA Today, March 7^th 2010)

Great dialogue isn't just found in Oscar-worthy movies. USA TODAY picks some of the evening's best bons mots.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the show took so long that Avatar now takes place in the past." — Co-host Steve Martin, wrapping it up

"Being a friend is getting the other a cup of coffee. Can you do that for me, Ted? It is Ted, isn’t it?" —Tim Robbins, quoting Shawshank Redemption co-star Morgan Freeman on the last day of shooting

"A fantasticially fantastic Mr. foxy Fox. Or, in the words of my mother's co-workers, 'He's just so dreamy.' " —Vera Farmiga on the wonder who is her Up in the Air co-star, George Clooney

"They just said my name at the Oscars. I'd better enjoy it because it will never happen again." — Filmmaker and actor Tyler Perry while handing out the editing award

"The thought that I'll have a two-legged man in my room tonight is so exciting, I can't stand it." — Honorary Academy Award recipient Lauren Bacall

"That means 'This seemed like a better idea during rehearsal.' " — Makeup award presenter Ben Stiller in blueface and Avatar braids after sputtering his intro in the film's language of Na'vi

"It's a collaboration between handsome gifted people and sickly little mole people." — Incensed actor Robert Downey Jr. about working with writers such as snarky co-presenter Tina Fey

"Meryl Streep holds the record for the most nominations for an actress. Or, as I like to think of it, most losses." — Steve Martin teasing his It's Complicated love interest

"The day started when we went over to Quentin's. He threw a party at his house for us. He had pizza and red-velvet cupcakes and Cristal Champagne and DJs. We came straight here from his house. He said, 'Eat up, guys. The food at the Oscars is terrible.' " —Inglourious Basterds actor Eli Roth on director Tarantino's pre-ceremony treat

Martin: "Oh, look, there's that damn Helen Mirren."  Co-host Alec Baldwin: "Steve, that's Dame Helen Mirren."

Martin (referring to actor Christoph Waltz): "In Inglourious Basterds, he played a Nazi obsessed with finding Jews."  He and Baldwin look out into the Kodak Theatre crowd and spread their arms.  Martin: "Well, Christoph ... the mother lode."

"I even voted for Jeff Bridges." — George Clooney on his fellow best-actor nominee on E!

From The Book “Outwitting Trolls” by William G. Tapply:

“Dogs love you, no doubt about it, but they love food best of all.”

“Then Ken got divorced and moved to Baltimore and shortly after that I got divorced too.  We’d been out of touch ever since but Ken And I used to be pretty good friends, and when he called me saying he was coming up to Massachusetts and would love to meet me for a drink if I could sneak away, just for old times’ sake, I agreed instantly.  Friends, old or new were always worth sneaking away for.”

“We’re going to live happily ever after,” I said.

“Ever after what?”
“After we slay the wicked stepmother,” I said, “and escape from the castle and outwit the trolls at the bridge.”
“All that, huh?”
“Nobody ever said that happily ever after was going to be easy.”
She gave my hand a squeeze, then let it go.  “Well, I don’t see why it has to be so hard,” she said.

Oxymorons Run Amuck

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game when we are already there?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Why is toilet paper tiny squares and tissues big squares?