My Oscar Picks And Comments (2013) Plus After-Ceremony News Stories

Academy Awards 2013

(My picks in in Bold type, the winner is in blue)

The Oscar telecast, hosted by Seth MacFarlane, will air on Feb. 24 on ABC at 8:30 p.m.

BEST PICTURE

Amour

Argo

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Django Unchained

Les Miserables

Life of Pi

Lincoln

Silver Linings Playbook

Zero Dark Thirty

 

I’m going with Argo.  Not because it was the best movie last year but it has incredible momentum- it’s won all the big preliminary awards.  I enjoyed Silver Linings Playbook and Lincoln more than Argo and I think Zero Dark Thirty is a more important film than Argo but Ben Affleck is going to stand on that podium tomorrow.  It won’t be as a director but I think he’d be almost as happy if he won as a producer.

  

BEST ACTOR

Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook

Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln

Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables

Joaquin Phoenix, The Master

Denzel Washington, Flight

Daniel Day-Lewis.  There is no doubt.  In any other year, it would probably be Hugh Jackman because he had a monster performance in Les Mis.  Maybe the singing wasn’t perfect but Oscars are for acting, not singing, and his acting was very impressive.  Still not good enough to wrest the statue away from Day-Lewis who channels Lincoln, the historically accurate Lincoln, in a mind-blowing performance. 

BEST ACTRESS

Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty

Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook

Emmanuelle Riva, Amour

Naomi Watts, The Impossible

Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild

 

I have a little crush on Jennifer Lawrence’s uninhibited mouth- I love hearing what will unexpectedly tumble out of it next.  Plus, she looks pretty good too, as evidenced by the dance scene in Playbook.  More importantly, she blew me away with her performance.  I believed she was the damaged, socially awkward, abrasive character- it showed in her eyes.  That’s why I think she should win.  I could see everything in her eyes.  There was no “acting”.  She totally immersed herself in the role.  Jessica Chastain had much less demanded of her other than sounding determined and the award boils down to those two, based on the buzz.  I haven’t seen Naomi Watt’s movie and I get the sense that not as many voters did either so it will still be down to Chastain and Lawrence.

 

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Alan Arkin, Argo

Robert DeNiro, Silver Linings Playbook

Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master

Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln

Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

 

I didn’t see The Master so I can’t comment on Phillip Seymour Hoffman but you may recall I dislike him.  He just annoys me, no matter what he’s in or how good his performance is.  Tommy Lee Jones played himself, with a wig on.  De Niro, though, was someone else.  There is no way you look at the guy he played and thought “This is the same actor from Cape Fear”.  He completely loses himself in the role. 

 

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Amy Adams, The Master

Sally Field, Lincoln

Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables

Helen Hunt, The Sessions

Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook

Again, I haven’t seen The Master but there is no buzz around Adams this year.  Helen Hunt has gotten lots of positive comments but they all point out that she is a lead role, not a supporting one.  You’d think that would guarantee her a win here but the voters don’t like being tricked into giving someone an award by  having a contender nominated in an easier category so everyone is dismissing her chances here.  That leaves it to anne Hathaway.  She’s the favorite anyway and the cutest of them all and I have a little crush on her and she reminds me of someone I play poker with so I have to go with Anne.

 

BEST DIRECTOR

Michael Haneke, Amour

Ang Lee, Life of Pi

David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook

Steven Spielberg, Lincoln

Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

 

It’s either Spielberg or Lee, especially since Ben Affleck, Katheryn Bigelow, Tom Hooper and Quentin Tarantino weren’t nominated. Spielberg did a masterful job of showcasing Daniel Day-Lewis and making political maneuvering utterly compelling while Ang Lee made a movie out of a book everything thought was impossible to bring to the big screen and did it with amazing 3-D glory.  Spielberg did a great job with people and Lee did a great job with visuals, technique and style.  Whichever ever one voters relate to most will be the winner.  Spielberg may get it simply because of who he is and because he won’t win Best Picture.

 

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola, Moonrise Kingdom

Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty

John Gatins, Flight

Michael Haneke, Amour

Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

 

I’m making a last minute change here.  I think Zero Dark Thirty will win this as a consolation prize for not winning Best Picture.  Not that does the director, Bigelow, any good.  Amour will win Best Foreign Picure so it doesn’t need the screenplay consolation.

 

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Lucy Alibar and Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Tony Kushner, Lincoln

David Magee, Life of Pi

David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook

Chris Terrio, Argo

 

Beloved but unfilmable book becomes globally successful hit movie.  How can Life Of Pi not win?

 

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

Brave

Frankenweenie

ParaNorman

The Pirates! Band of Misfits

Wreck-It Ralph

 

It’s tough voting against the Pixar AND Ardman studios, based on their track record, but I liked Ralph best of all the movies I saw (everything but Franenweenie) and I thought it had the most innovative animation.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Anna Karenina, Seamus McGarvey

Django Unchained, Robert Richardson

Life of Pi, Claudio Miranda

Lincoln, Janusz Kaminski

Skyfall, Roger Deakins

I picked this before I learned that Roger Deakins, a widely respected cinematographer, was 0 for 10 in his Oscar nominations.  This may be a consolation prize for Bond movies being slighted every year and a chance to honor a respected artist.  If not Skyfall, it will be Pi. 

 

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Anna Karenina, Jacqueline Durran

Les Misérables, Paco Delgado

Lincoln, Joanna Johnston

Mirror Mirror, Eiko Ishioka

Snow White and the Huntsman, Colleen Atwood

 

Costume dramas usually win the costume award and none was more costumey than Anna Karenina.  It takes place inside a theater for goodness sakes!

 

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

5 Broken Cameras

The Gatekeepers

How to Survive a Plague

The Invisible War

Searching for Sugar Man

 

Apparently the only feel good nominee, so I’m picking it over the possible dark horses- The Gatekeepers, which sounds fascinating- and How To Survive A Plague.

 

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT

Inocente, Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine

Kings Point, Sari Gilman and Jedd Wider

Mondays at Racine, Cynthia Wade and Robin Honan

Open Heart, Kief Davidson and Cori Shepherd Stern

Redemption, Jon Alpert and Matthew O'Neill

Just a guess.

 

BEST FILM EDITING

Argo, William Goldenberg

Life of Pi, Tim Squyres

Lincoln, Michael Kahn

Silver Linings Playbook, Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers

Zero Dark Thirty, Dylan Tichenor and William Goldenberg

 

Every likes the complex, gripping scene of the raid on Bin Laden’s compound so that sounds to me like a winning editing job.

 

BEST FOREIGN FILM

Amour, Austria

Kon-Tiki, Norway

No, Chile

A Royal Affair, Denmark

War Witch, Canada

 

Amour, no contest.  Though I didn’t watch the movie because I’m still angry with the director for the unresolved ending of Cache.  And because I agree with one voter who thinks the director hates people.

 

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING

Hitchcock, Howard Berger, Peter Montagna and Martin Samuel

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Peter Swords King, Rick Findlater and Tami Lane

Les Misérables, Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell

 

Consolation prize for losing the Costume and Best Picture awards.

 

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Anna Karenina, Dario Marianelli

Argo, Alexandre Desplat

Life of Pi, Mychael Danna

Lincoln, John Williams

Skyfall, Thomas Newman

 

Just a guess.

 

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

Before My Time from Chasing Ice, Music and Lyric by J. Ralph

Everybody Needs A Best Friend from Ted, Music by Walter Murphy; Lyric by Seth MacFarlane

Pi's Lullaby from Life of Pi, Music by Mychael Danna; Lyric by Bombay Jayashri

Skyfall from Skyfall, Music and Lyric by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth

Suddenly from Les Misérables, Music by Claude-Michel Schönberg; Lyric by Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boublil

 

The strongest contender in a widely acknowledged weak field.  I thought the song Skyfall could have been a bit more intense, to match the subject matter, but everyone loves Adele so she is going to win easily.

 

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

Anna Karenina, Production Design: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Production Design: Dan Hennah; Set Decoration: Ra Vincent and Simon Bright

Les Misérables, Production Design: Eve Stewart; Set Decoration: Anna Lynch-Robinson

Life of Pi, Production Design: David Gropman; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock

Lincoln, Production Design: Rick Carter; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

 

Just a guess.  Everything else is mostly CGI so it isn’t as physically demanding to create the sets.

 

BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM

Adam and Dog, Minkyu Lee

Fresh Guacamole, PES

Head over Heels, Timothy Reckart and Fodhla Cronin O'Reilly

Maggie Simpson in The Longest Daycare, David Silverman

Paperman, John Kahrs

I thought Paperman was ridiculous and unbelievable but everyone seems to smitten with it so I’m picking it.  I’d rather have the Simpsons win it though.

 

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM

Asad, Bryan Buckley and Mino Jarjoura

Buzkashi Boys, Sam French and Ariel Nasr

Curfew, Shawn Christensen

Death of a Shadow (Dood van een Schaduw), Tom Van Avermaet and Ellen De Waele

Henry, Yan England

 

Picking it simply because of the title.

 

BEST SOUND EDITING

Argo, Erik Aadahl and Ethan Van der Ryn

Django Unchained, Wylie Stateman

Life of Pi, Eugene Gearty and Philip Stockton

Skyfall, Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers

Zero Dark Thirty, Paul N.J. Ottosson

 

Picking it for the same reason I picked it for Film Editing.

 

BEST SOUND MIXING

Argo, John Reitz, Gregg Rudloff and Jose Antonio Garcia

Les Misérables, Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes

Life of Pi, Ron Bartlett, D.M. Hemphill and Drew Kunin

Lincoln, Andy Nelson, Gary Rydstrom and Ronald Judkins

Skyfall, Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell and Stuart Wilson

 

Recorded live during the actor’s performances.  That sounds complicated and award worthy.

 

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton and R. Christopher White

Life of Pi, Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer and Donald R. Elliott

Marvel's The Avengers, Janek Sirrs, Jeff White, Guy Williams and Dan Sudick

Prometheus, Richard Stammers, Trevor Wood, Charley Henley and Martin Hill

Snow White and the Huntsman, Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, Philip Brennan, Neil Corbould and Michael Dawson

 

I think Prometheus and The Hobbit had more imaginative effects but Pi used its’ CGI effects of normal environments to deliver a better end result .

 

Nominees and winners at the 85^th annual Oscars on Sunday night (winners' names in bold):
Best picture

Amour
WINNER: Argo
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Django Unchained
Les Miserables
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty

Best actor

Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
WINNER: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Denzel Washington, Flight

Best actress

Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
WINNER: Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best supporting actor

Alan Arkin, Argo
Robert DeNiro, Silver Linings Playbook
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
WINNER: Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Best supporting actress

Amy Adams, The Master
Sally Field, Lincoln
WINNER: Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook

Best director

Michael Haneke, Amour
WINNER: Ang Lee, Life of Pi
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best original screenplay

Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola, Moonrise Kingdom
Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty
John Gatins, Flight
Michael Haneke, Amour
WINNER: Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

Best adapted screenplay

Lucy Alibar and Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Tony Kushner, Lincoln
David Magee, Life of Pi
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
WINNER: Chris Terrio, Argo

Best animated feature film

WINNER: Brave
Frankenweenie
ParaNorman
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph

Best cinematography

Anna Karenina, Seamus McGarvey
Django Unchained, Robert Richardson
WINNER: Life of Pi, Claudio Miranda
Lincoln, Janusz Kaminski
Skyfall, Roger Deakins

Best costume design

WINNER: Anna Karenina, Jacqueline Durran
Les Misérables, Paco Delgado
Lincoln, Joanna Johnston
Mirror Mirror, Eiko Ishioka
Snow White and the Huntsman, Colleen Atwood

Best documentary feature

5 Broken Cameras
The Gatekeepers
How to Survive a Plague
The Invisible War
WINNER: Searching for Sugar Man

Best documentary short subject

WINNER: Inocente, Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine
Kings Point, Sari Gilman and Jedd Wider
Mondays at Racine, Cynthia Wade and Robin Honan
Open Heart, Kief Davidson and Cori Shepherd Stern
Redemption, Jon Alpert and Matthew O'Neill

Best film editing

WINNER: Argo, William Goldenberg
Life of Pi, Tim Squyres
Lincoln, Michael Kahn
Silver Linings Playbook, Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers
Zero Dark Thirty, Dylan Tichenor and William Goldenberg

Best foreign film

WINNER: Amour, Austria
Kon-Tiki, Norway
No, Chile
A Royal Affair, Denmark
War Witch, Canada

Best makeup and hairstyling

Hitchcock, Howard Berger, Peter Montagna and Martin Samuel
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Peter Swords King, Rick Findlater and Tami Lane
WINNER: Les Misérables, Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell

Best original score

Anna Karenina, Dario Marianelli
Argo, Alexandre Desplat
WINNER: Life of Pi, Mychael Danna
Lincoln, John Williams
Skyfall, Thomas Newman

Best original song

Before My Time from Chasing Ice, Music and Lyric by J. Ralph
Everybody Needs a Best Friend from Ted, Music by Walter Murphy; lyrics by Seth MacFarlane
Pi's Lullaby from Life of Pi, Music by Mychael Danna; lyrics by Bombay Jayashri
WINNER: Skyfall from Skyfall, Music and lyrics by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth
Suddenly from Les Misérables, Music by Claude-Michel Schönberg; lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boublil

Best production design

Anna Karenina, Production Design: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Production Design: Dan Hennah; Set Decoration: Ra Vincent and Simon Bright
Les Misérables, Production Design: Eve Stewart; Set Decoration: Anna Lynch-Robinson
Life of Pi, Production Design: David Gropman; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock
WINNER: Lincoln, Production Design: Rick Carter; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

Best animated short film

Adam and Dog, Minkyu Lee
Fresh Guacamole, PES
Head Over Heels, Timothy Reckart and Fodhla Cronin O'Reilly
Maggie Simpson in The Longest Daycare, David Silverman
WINNER: Paperman, John Kahrs

Best live action short film

Asad, Bryan Buckley and Mino Jarjoura
Buzkashi Boys, Sam French and Ariel Nasr
WINNER: Curfew, Shawn Christensen
Death of a Shadow (Dood van een Schaduw), Tom Van Avermaet and Ellen De Waele
Henry, Yan England

Best sound editing

Argo, Erik Aadahl and Ethan Van der Ryn
Django Unchained, Wylie Stateman
Life of Pi, Eugene Gearty and Philip Stockton
WINNER (tie): Skyfall, Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers
WINNER (tie):Zero Dark Thirty, Paul N.J. Ottosson

Best sound mixing

Argo, John Reitz, Gregg Rudloff and Jose Antonio Garcia
WINNER: Les Misérables, Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes
Life of Pi, Ron Bartlett, D.M. Hemphill and Drew Kunin
Lincoln, Andy Nelson, Gary Rydstrom and Ronald Judkins
Skyfall, Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell and Stuart Wilson

Best visual effects

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton and R. Christopher White
WINNER: Life of Pi, Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer and Donald R. Elliott
Marvel's The Avengers, Janek Sirrs, Jeff White, Guy Williams and Dan Sudick
Prometheus, Richard Stammers, Trevor Wood, Charley Henley and Martin Hill
Snow White and the Huntsman, Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, Philip Brennan, Neil Corbould and Michael Dawson

 

At The 2013 Oscars: A Night Of Hollywood As Theater

(By Monica Hesse, Washington Post, February 25, 2013)

In the end, all that debate over which Washington-centric procedural would go big at this year’s Oscars (“Argo?” “Lincoln?” “Zero Dark Thirty?”) was for naught. They all won, a little bit.  “Argo,” Ben Affleck’s story of the L.A.-CIA plot to rescue U.S. Embassy workers during the Iranian hostage crisis, took home best picture at Sunday’s ceremony, as well as two other awards: film editing and adapted screenplay. It marked the first time since 1989’s “Driving Miss Daisy” that the director of a best-picture winner failed to receive a nomination for his own contribution to the film. (Last night, the directing award went to unexpected winner Ang Lee for “Life of Pi,” who thanked the Academy in multiple languages: ”Thank you. Xie xie. Namaste.”)

And — surprise! — was this also the first time that a glittery-gowned first lady was Skyped in from the White House in order to help Jack Nicholson present the top prize?  “You can’t hold grudges,” said a bearded Affleck as he accepted, in his producer role, the best picture award. “It doesn’t matter how you get knocked down again, because that’s going to happen. But you got to get back up.”  Earlier last fall, “Lincoln” was seen as presumptive top film, hoovering up 12 nominations — including a nod for director Steven Spielberg. But the snubbing of Affleck seemed to rally the voting populi around the erstwhile underdog film, whose 1970s plot was modernized by 2010s buzzwords: Benghazi. Tahrir Square. Movember moustaches.

“Lincoln” still finagled two awards, including Daniel Day-Lewis’s much anticipated third best-actor award. (His first two were for “My Left Foot” and “There Will Be Blood.”) The win made Day-Lewis the first actor to acquire three Oscars in the leading actor category, and also broke the “Spielberg Curse”: Until Sunday’s ceremony, no actor in a Spielberg film had ever won that award.  “I really don’t know how any of this happened,” he said. Oh, Mr. Lewis. You’re at your most Method-y when playing bashful.  “I had actually been committed to play Margaret Thatcher,” he deadpanned, after accepting his statue from Meryl Streep. “Meryl was Steven’s first choice for Lincoln.”  Jennifer Lawrence was also playing Meryl Streep — at least the breezy awards show version of her. “This is nuts!” she protested, after winning best actress for her portrayal of a damaged wannabe dance champion in “Silver Linings Playbook.” She remembered to wish fellow nominee Emmanuelle Riva a happy 86th birthday.

How classy those actress winners were on Sunday. Can-do, chirp-chirp Anne Hathaway took home the supporting actress award for her tremulous, bald performance in “Les Miserables” on Sunday evening’s Academy Awards ceremony. Some said she was owed it for, if nothing else, enduring the ensuing transitional haircut. Some said she was owed it for, if for nothing else, her take-one-for-the-team co-hosting duties with a somnolent James Franco two years ago.  Either way, the win was symbolic of the Hollywood as theatah theme that permeated the program — Hathaway herself representing everyone’s high school thespian president. Like me. Love my art.  “It came true,” she said, cradling the statue. (Yes! It came true! You dreamed a dream!) One can’t blame her for trying to deliver the hairbrush-as-microphone mirror speech favored by teen girls everywhere. It was, after all, her first win.

The best supporting actor award, on the other hand, went to second-time winner Christoph Waltz — the Austrian-born actor whose theatrical training actually was in the theater. His turn as a bounty hunter in Quentin Tarantino’s “Django Unchained” was as cartoonishly heroic as his character in 2009’s “Inglourious Basterds” had been cartoonishly evil.  “We participated in a hero’s journey, the hero here being Quentin,” Waltz said in his acceptance speech. “You slayed the dragon because you’re not afraid of it.”

As this year’s Oscars approached, the evening was hailed as a showcase of Hollywood-in-Washington (Hollyton? Washingwood? Los Sequesterlos?), with big nominations for “Argo,” “Lincoln” and “Zero Dark Thirty,” all of which laud the D.C. back-door brokering that voters claim to haaate, but viewers apparently love.  But the awards were ultimately spread among a far more disparate group of honorees.  “Zero Dark Thirty,” the movie that launched a thousand torture debates, only ended up with one award - a rare tie, with Bond movie “Skyfall,” for sound editing. “Skyfall” also won for original song, treating the audience to an Adele/podium encounter: “I love you, bay-bey!!” she called to her “man.”

And, another early winner did have a Washington connection, although it wasn’t the one that viewers had predicted: Washington residents Sean Fine and his wife, Andrea Nix Fine, won best short documentary for “Inocente,” their chronicling of the struggles of a homeless immigrant.  “She was homeless just a year ago, and now she’s standing in front of you, and she’s an artist . . . and all of us are artists.” Sean Fine said, as he squeezed a blushing, flabbergasted Inocente Izucar on stage.
Oscarologists spend weeks leading up to the awards ceremony dabbling in over/unders and if/thens and but/maybes, trying to hone their predictions enough that it becomes unnecessary to even watch the 3¹ / ₂-hour telecast. (Straight to the photo galleries, America! Everything you really need to know about the Oscars is encapsulated in Halle Berry’s dress.) A few days ago, even accuracy meister Nate Silver rung in with his wonkified, sabermetrixed take on the evening.  As a result, everyone already knew that sobfest “Anna Karenina” would take home the prize for costume design. Still: “This is absolutely overwhelming,” said Jacqueline Durran, thanking her children in a delightfully British acceptance speech. “They’re completely oblivious to this,” she insisted. “They’re fast asleep in England.”  Oh, no no no, mummy. Some dear nanny let them stay up a wee bit late.

As a result, everyone already expected “Life of Pi,” a lush tale about a young Indian boy’s fantastical journey across the sea, to take home early visual awards. “The irony is not lost on us that in a movie about questioning what is real, most of what you see is fake,” said Bill Westenhofer, acceping the honor for visual effects. Claudio Miranda, he of the flowing silver Fabio hair, accepted the cinematography award for the film. (We caught up with him on the red carpet beforehand and asked who styled his mane. “Bed de la Morning,” he said.) The film also won for original score.

Everyone expected that “Searching for Sugarman,” the decades-long quest of a South African fan to track down a Detroit music legend, would take the award for Best Documentary.  Everyone most certainly knew that Austrian tearjerker love story “Amour” would win the award for best foreign-language film — it had transcended its language boundaries to also be nominated for best picture. That did not make director Michael Haneke’s speech any less pleasing to listen to. “Zank you very much vor zis honor . . . Zank you to my vife,” he said. “Zank you to my actors. Zank you.”

 

Hugh Jackman Rushes To Jennifer Lawrence’s Aid At Oscars

Hugh Jackman “out Hugh Jackmaned” himself as he rushes to help Jennifer Lawrence as she takes a tumble collecting her Best Actress award for Silver Linings Playbook at the Oscars.

(By Australian Times, 25 February, 2013)

The collective sighs of thousands of Australian women could be heard across the world last night as Hugh Jackman once again proved his credentials as a true Aussie gentleman.  Hugh Jackman was filmed leaping to the aid of Jennifer Lawrence, as she tripped up the stairs on the way to the podium to receive her Oscar for Best Actress for her role in Silver Linings Playbook. With millions watching from around the world, Jen struggled to negotiate the stairs to the stage in her large pink ball gown. The 22-year-old star recovered gracefully however, not needing Jackman’s help after all to right herself and go on to collect her well-deserved award.  Hugh Jackman later told People magazine about his heroic dash: “I had to help her, poor thing! I didn’t know if she could get up.”

Once at the podium the audience gave her a standing ovation, although Lawrence laughed it off saying: “You guys are just standing up because I fell and you feel bad, thank you.”  Predictably tweeters on Twitter had many words of advice to offer, including this from Arianna Huffington of Huffington Post: “Lesson of Jennifer Lawrence’s walk to stage: flats!”  However, other tweeters used the opportunity to comment on Hugh Jackman’s gentlemanly actions.  @Molly 23 told Jennifer: ”JLaw! When Hugh Jackman runs to help you up, YOU STAY DOWN UNTIL HE GETS TO YOU.”  @itscarinae said: “I fell in love with Hugh Jackman even more for sprinting to Jennifer Lawrence’s side after she fell.”  @nessienakivell summed it up well, saying “when Hugh ran to help Jen he was the biggest Hugh Jackman this world has ever seen. He out Hugh Jackmaned himself to the highest degree.”

 

Oscars 2013: Winners And Losers

(By Lanford Beard, Entertainment weekly, Feb 25 2013)

 WINNER: Seth MacFarlane's Self-Awareness

The Family Guy creator handicapped himself from the start, slipping in sly jokes about his destiny as a one-time host and playfully ribbing the audience when they groaned at jokes that went too far (we're lookin' at you, ''I would argue that the actor who really got inside Lincoln's head was John Wilkes Booth.'') Still, lowering the audience’s expectations was the best favor MacFarlane could have done for himself. Throwing his haters off-kilter, he was able to drop in some legitimately funny bits, including a Sound of Music gag before Christopher Plummer’s introduction of the Best Supporting Actress category and a self-deprecating riff on his own accomplishments compared to the nominees. (''You guys have made some inspiring movies. I made Ted. Your movies are going to win awards. My movies are in Redboxes outside of grocery stores being urinated on by bums.'') Early polls show that MacFarlane's gambit paid off. Well-played, voice man. Well-played.

TOSS-UP: MacFarlane's Monologue

While we credit Oscar 85's host for knowing his limitations, his ''High Hopes'' shtick felt forced during an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink monologue. A Fred and Ginger homage from Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron? Surprisingly charming. A little soft-shoe from the always game Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon-Levitt? Sure. Enlisting William Shatner to save MacFarlane from himself, all while playing the gags that — in the Shatnerian future — were proven to tank MacFarlane's hosting stint? You're losing us, Seth. The monologue had some funny elements that were ultimately overshadowed by an over-long, under-edited execution. (Bonus winner: EW, which got a begrudging shout-out from the Oscars 2013 host.)

LOSER: Best Picture Nominees

The night had its share of awkward moments, but what was with the on-the-nose clusters of Best Picture contenders? Perhaps most streamlined was the America's Got History block of Argo, Zero Dark Thirty, and Lincoln. But then there was the DIY Rafting bloc of Beasts of the Southern Wild, Life of Pi, and...Les Misérables? Not to mention a trio of meditations on mental health including Silver Linings Playbook, Amour, and...Django Unchained? We appreciate the brevity, but this was a stretch.

Winner: Oscar Historians

Could this year be any more historic? Best Actress nominees Quvenzhané Wallis and Emmanuelle Riva represented the category’s youngest and oldest contenders ever, respectively; the Best Sound Editing category ended in a tie between Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall — Oscar's first tie since 1995, and Daniel Day-Lewis became the first thesp ever to win three Best Actor trophies. Movie nerds everywhere, rejoice!

LOSER: Life of Pi's Bill Westenhofer

Is there any greater indignity than being played out of your acceptance speech by the Jaws theme? Nope. One of the ceremony's most cringe-worthy moments, hands down. More to the point, Best Visual Effects winner Westenhofer was addressing the collapse of VFX studios, including Life of Pi's Rhythm + Hues, which prompted red carpet protests before this year's ceremony. Where's Julia Roberts when you need her?

WINNER: Ted

Cinema's raunchiest stuffed animal wangled his way into announcing two Oscar winners and Jack Nicholson's ''big, post-Oscar orgy.'' What can we say? The bear has had a phenomenal go of it.

LOSER: James Bond

Ian Fleming's superspy franchise celebrated its 50th anniversary, had a blockbuster year at the box office, and won its first Academy Award since 1965, and yet…the Oscar tribute to 007 was surprisingly unimpressive. All due respect to legendary diva Shirley Bassey, who belted ''Goldfinger'' with aplomb, but there were more than a few missed opportunities in this lackluster homage — including the chance to organize a for-the-ages duet between Bassey and Best Song winner Adele. Bottom line: We were neither shaken nor stirred.

TOSS-UP: Movie Musical Montage

This year's ceremony was impressively restrained in terms of gratuitous montages. With Les Misérables up for Best Picture and Broadway vets Neil Meron and Craig Zadan at the telecast's helm, it was only natural we'd hear about the triumphant return of the movie musical. Dreamgirls' 2007 Best Supporting Actress winner Jennifer Hudson blew the roof off reprising her Oscar-winning rendition of ''And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going,'' but 2003 winner Catherine Zeta-Jones turned in an obviously lip-synched performance of Chicago's ''All That Jazz.'' Capped off by a mixed-bag group number from Les Miz that was unevenly mic'd and out of costume, and it was hard to find the melody in the muddle.

WINNER: Adele

Let's face it: Best Original Song was hers to lose. Adele has won all the awards since 21 was released more than a year ago. And yet she was, as ever, surprisingly emotional and off-the-cuff when she stepped up to the podium, alongside ''Skyfall'' producer Paul Epworth, to collect her Oscar. Adele, we love you. EGOT, you're on notice.

WINNER: In Memoriam

The annual tribute to the Academy's dearly departed has been notoriously tricky. Live performances often fall flat, and the decision to leave on ambient sound during the reel (thus revealing how much applause each late great receives) has felt gauche. This year, both got the kibosh in favor of an elegant segment capped off by Barbra Streisand's poignant performance of ''Memories,'' the iconic tune penned by three-time Oscar winner and In Memoriam notable Marvin Hamlisch

LOSER: Anne Hathaway's speech

If there was any guaranteed winner this year, it was the Les Misérables star. As Fantine, she was breathtaking, wrenching, stunning. As a Best Supporting Actress winner, she was as uninspired and rote as her underwhelming Prada gown. Oh, Anne. We had a dream your speech would be so different from this list you're giving.

WINNER: Jennifer Lawrence

Now the second-youngest actress to win the Best Actress award, Lawrence had an unfortunate stumble on the way to the stage. But she picked herself up, dusted herself off, and collected her trophy. Then, in typical J.Law style, she was delightfully candid as she told the audience in the Dolby Theatre, ''You guys are just standing up because I fell, and that's so embarrassing.'' She also wished dark horse nominee Emmanuelle Riva a happy birthday. Classy

WINNER: Meryl Streep

To quote MacFarlane, ''Ladies and gentlemen, our next presenter needs no introduction [leaves stage].'' La Streep wasn't nominated this year, but that didn't stop her from being the belle of the ball as she presented Best Actor statuette. You almost have to wonder, is there a universe in which Oscar can exist without Meryl Streep? Smart money says no.

WINNER: Daniel Day-Lewis, Comedian

The über-Method actor typically hasn't been known for his sense of humor. His speeches throughout this awards season have been generally earnest and dignified, as befitting a true thespian. So, to the surprise of everyone at Sunday's ceremony, he waxed comedic about the one-for-one swap he'd made with Meryl Streep the year before: In DDL's version of the story, he booked the role of Margaret Thatcher, while Streep was Steven Spielberg's ''first choice'' to play Abraham Lincoln — ''I'd have liked to see that version,'' he quipped.

WINNER: Ben Affleck

Argo has been riding a once-in-a-lifetime wave of support to the top prize since Affleck's snub in the Best Director category. Still, despite all signs in his favor, Affleck seemed genuinely touched to win the Best Picture prize and get all due credit from co-producer Grant Heslov. He admitted that, after his Good Will Hunting screenplay win, ''I never thought I'd be back here, but I am — because of so many of you.'' (Bonus to Heslov, who joked about the win: ''I know what you're thinking: Three Sexiest Producers Alive.'')

LOSERS: Jack Nicholson and Michelle Obama

In one of the night's most unnecessary, unnatural pairings, the First Lady teamed up with the three-time Oscar winner (via satellite) to present the final award. All respect to FLOTUS Michelle Obama, but what was she doing there? Not only was it a clear tip-off that Argo would take top honors, it also made us wonder: If Jack's not enough, who is?

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20311937_20676951,00.html#21286535

 

Oscarnomics

Oscarnomics: What It Costs To Create The Academy Awards Extravaganza

(By Rebecca Sun, Hollywood Reporter, 21 February 2013)

 

The most important show in town requires minding the pocketbook. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences scored a good deal with the Dolby Theatre in 2012, smartly leveraging the bankruptcy of former sponsor Kodak to negotiate a new 20-year lease. Financial terms were not disclosed, but it's estimated that Kodak received $500 million worth of positive exposure from the Oscars. The city also benefits: The Los Angeles Economic Development Council says Oscar fever injects $130 million into the economy every year.

The Academy reported $89.6 million in Oscar-related revenue in the financial statement it released in June. The bulk of that income is from the Walt Disney Co., which pays $75 million annually for the rights to broadcast the awards show through 2020.  Last year, the Academy spent $38.3 million on the awards show and its satellite events, up nearly $3 million from 2011. Using a combination of figures publicly released by the Academy during the past six years as well as estimates and price quotes from comparable vendors, THR has calculated the distribution of funds and highlighted a few line items from the Oscars’ annual ledger.

THE ACADEMY AWARDS:
$21.8 million
The amount AMPAS spent to present the 84th annual Oscars ceremony in February 2012.

Producers’ honorarium: $100,000-plus
As a token of gratitude for overseeing the massive enterprise, the Academy sends the telecast’s producers (this year: Craig Zadan and Neil Meron) a thank-you card and a check in the low-six figures.

Host’s fee: $15,000-$25,000
The responsibility of keeping the awards show entertaining and ending it on time goes to the host, and for shouldering that burden, first-time host Seth MacFarlane is paid above the $15,000 SAG-AFTRA minimum.

Oscar statuettes: $45,000
The value of the 24-karat-plated mini man is tied to the price of gold, currently about $1,600 an ounce. THR calculates that each of this year’s 50 statuettes from manufacturer R.S. Owens is worth about $900.

Security: $250,000
A private firm unaffiliated with the Academy estimates it costs a quarter-million dollars to secure the Oscars, a process that requires thousands of hours of preparation and months of planning and training.

Singers: $14,000-plus
Adele and Norah Jones receive a minimum of $3,500 to perform nominated songs; union rates for other numbers start at $2,400 for soloists like Barbra Streisand and $5,000 for groups like the Les Mis ensemble.

The set: Less than $1 million
The cost of the Dolby Theatre set is comparable to that of a major musical: at least several hundred thousand dollars. The Academy saves by renting equipment that vendors are loath to loan to open-ended Broadway runs.

Winners’ envelopes: $10,000
Stationery designer Marc Friedland spends 110 hours laminating, hand-folding, goldleaf-stamping and embossing 488 nominee cards, but only the 24 bearing the winners’ names will be revealed onstage.

The red carpet: $25,000
Unaffiliated L.A.-based Red Carpet Systems quotes $1.50 per square foot for the priceless experience of walking the world’s most famous crimson corridor, which is 500 feet long and 33 feet wide.

 

OTHER:
$11.1 million
Oscar-related activities include nominees’ events and legal expenses.

Membership screenings: $250,000-plus
The Academy’s year-round calendar includes events and screenings in L.A., New York and London for all the Oscar-nominated films.

Nominees Luncheon: $260,000
The 156 Oscar contenders gathered at the Beverly Hilton on Feb. 4 for the annual luncheon and class photo, after which each received an “Oscar nominee” sweatshirt.

Copyright/trademark protection: $1.5 million
The Academy pays about $1.5 million in annual legal expenses, some of which was spent this year on a lawsuit against domain registrar GoDaddy.

Governors Awards: $865,000
On Dec. 1, the Academy saluted D.A. Pennebaker, George Stevens Jr. and Hal Needham and recognized Jeffrey Katzenberg with the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award.

Sci-Tech Awards: $432,000
Star Trek’s Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana hosted the Feb. 9 ceremony at the Beverly Hills Hotel to honor the film industry’s scientific and technical trailblazers.

 

GOVERNORS BALL:
$1.8 million
Thanks to vendor deals, event planner Sequoia Productions spends up to four-fifths less than the estimated retail value of the items below.

Sterling Vineyards wine: $58,000
The Napa winery is providing 540 bottles each of its 2007 Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon (retail $75) and its 2009 Reserve Chardonnay ($33), which took 1.8 million grapes to create.

Thienot Champagne: $87,000
The relatively obscure brand will make its Oscar debut at the Governors Ball with Thienot Brut ($40) at the preshow reception, followed by Thienot Rosé ($66) and the Thienot Vintage 2005 ($50).

White truffles: $34,800
The creme de la creme of the prized delicacy hails from Alba, Italy, and Wolfgang Puck is using 10 pounds of the stuff for his chestnut tortellini, among other dishes. Rakuten.com offers 4 ounces for $870.

Snake River Farms steak: $25,300
The Idaho-based purveyor’s website sells two 10-ounce New York strip steaks for $79. Puck has ordered 400 pounds, which he will serve with Japanese matsutake mushrooms ($45 a pound).

Chocolate: $20,000 From “pop rock” pops to gold-dusted Oscars, there’s no shortage of the guilty pleasure on pastry chef Sherry Yard’s menu, which will use 1,000 pounds of Guittard bittersweet chocolate ($30 for a dozen two-ounce bars).

Decor: $100,000-plus
Lux Lounge EFR is creating 423 lounge pieces, which will be covered in 1,935 yards of fabric from Resource One. Custom glass cocktail tables will feature blooms from Mark’s Garden sprouting from the pedestal.

Chandelier: $1 million
The grand centerpiece of this year’s ball is a custom-designed 120-by-70-foot six-tier fixture, composed of 1.78 million beads and 18,000 LED points of light. It will be available to rent after the party.

Event staff: $240,000
To accommodate the 1,500 VIP guests, at least 1,000 personnel (including 350 culinary staff in uniforms designed by ball chair Jeffrey Kurland) will be on hand, working about 12 hours at an average of $20 an hour.

♦♦♦♦♦

Haute Hotel Accommodations
The top hotels sell out completely. Absolutely no discounts are offered, so everyone pays the maximum rate: The penthouse suite at the Sunset Tower is $4,000 a night during Oscar weekend, compared with $2,500 seven days later. With every last room occupied by VIPs, hotels invest in concierge service and special amenities. The Peninsula Beverly Hills increases its weekend staff by 15 percent to 20 percent and purchases city permits to park guest limos on adjacent streets.

A Boon to the Beauty Biz
Juan Juan Salon sees up to 200 extra clients during Oscar weekend, and on Oscar Sunday its stylists are out at dawn on house calls, which start at $500. During awards season, facialist Terri Lawton adds up to three appointments daily (from $285, though other salons have charged up to $1,200), while Kate Somerville’s clinic brings in three more aestheticians to handle demand for its red-carpet oxygen treatment ($260) and facial ($285). Stylists can do up to $20,000 worth of work for a client, whose studio sometimes foots the bill.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/oscars-what-costs-create-academy-422001

Stewie’s Advice For Seth McFarlane When Hosting The Oscars

1)      “If ‘Ted’ wins for Best Picture, make sure you- ha ha, just kidding!”

2)      “When you first come out, make sure you wear a name tag.  No one over 40 knows who you are.”

3)      “Let Nick Nolte sniff your hand before you try to touch him.”

4)      “Wear a black ribbon in memory of all the other ribbons.”

5)      “Say we need to find a cure for some fake disease and see if anyone claps.”

6)      “Chris Rock, David Letterman, Anne Hathaway, James Franco, and Hugh Jackman are all trained performers.  But I’m sure you’ll do great.”

     (From Entertainment Weekly, 22 Feb 2013)

Anecdotes By Apatow & Martin

On the Metro ride home from DC, I was reading a recent issue of Vanity Fair.  This particular one was being guest edited by Judd Apatow.  I like Apatow, but as I’m going through the issue, I realize I like him more as a producer than as a director.  He produced Superbad, which was great and he directed Funny People which was … okay.  He produced Bridesmaid which was incredible and he directed This Is 40, which was sort of a drama and sort of a comedy and it didn’t quite work as either (and all the best scenes were in the previews- but not in the movie!  Huh?)  So you see what I mean?  I’ve started to think that he’s a bit overrated, at least for his own movies.  Yeah, Knocked Up and The 40 Year Old Virgin were good but after those, meh. 

Kind of Like James L. Brooks.  Broadcast News and As Good As It Gets?  Awesome.  Then comes Spanglish.  Barf.  Brooks lost his touch, kind of kind Apatow seems to have done.  I was about to write off Judd Apatow  for good and then I came to this little story where he fawns over Steve Martin.  That’s when I knew that he was not hopeless.  Anyone who worships Steve Martin is okay in my book.  Even Martin had his share of flops and misses but after every Sgt. Bilko or Pink Panther, he got back on track eventually and produced some great work.  Apatow can do the same- he just needs to get back in touch with his inner Martin.  If you look below at “Death Of An Anecdote”, you’ll see the item I’m talking about.  It was a really sweet and amusing story and it showed why Steve Martin is worthy of emulation and how Apatow’s comic sensibility can redeem him if he puts his mind to it. 

Then on the next page of the magazine, I see something titled “Birth Of An Anecdote” by Steve Martin.  I almost fall out of my seat from laughing, just from the anticipation, from the idea of what is about to come.  Then I actually read Martin’s response and think “No wonder this guy is a master of Twitter and a genius at succinct, humorous essays.”  He can take the nine sentences below and compose a perfect response- one that is funny, subversive, understands context and elevates the gag to a higher level.  Then on top of that, there is the picture after the two anecdotes.  Perfection.  These two pages made my day.  Now that I’ve hyped it up so much, maybe you should quickly lower your expectations before reading the bits below so you can experience the same unexpected reading pleasure that I experienced on a subway car late at night.

 

 

Judd Apatow: The Death of an Anecdote

(By Judd Apatow, Guest Editor for Vanity Fair December 2012 Issue)

I have always loved comedy, and this portfolio and issue, filled with men and women I admire, are my attempt to show you what it means to me. Some of them have shaped my sensibility; others just make me laugh.  Anyway, I’m proud to have worked with many of the comic geniuses who appear in these pages, one of whom I have a fantastic anecdote about. I probably tell it too often. But here goes. One last time, for Vanity Fair, and then I’ll retire it forever.

When I was 12 years old, I went to visit my grandparents in Beverly Hills. I was, and am still, a massive Steve Martin fan. One day, in the car, my grandmother pointed out where he lived.  A few days later, as we drove by, I looked out the window and saw something mind-blowing. Steve Martin was standing in front of his house! I yelled at my grandmother to stop the car, grab­bed a pen and paper, and jumped out.

“Mr. Martin. Can I have your autograph?”

“No, I’m sorry, but I don’t sign autographs at my house.”

“Please?”

“I’m sorry, but if I do, then people will start coming over.”

“Well, will you sign it in the street?”

I thought that was pretty good for a 12-year-old. But he said no and apologized. I jumped back in the car in a rage. Back at my grandparents, I pulled out a notepad and started writing him a letter:

Dear Mr. Martin,

I think you are the funniest man on earth, but you treat your fans like crap. If I didn’t buy all your albums and go to all your movies you wouldn’t live in that house. If you don’t send me an apology I am going to send your address to “Homes of the Stars” and you will have tour buses passing by 24 hours a day.

I left it in his mailbox—for effect.

About six months later, back home, I received a package. Inside was the book Cruel Shoes, by Steve Martin, with the following inscription:

Dear Judd,

I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was speaking to the Judd Apatow!

Your friend,
Steve Martin 3/80

I knew that the only reason he responded was because my letter had made him laugh. If I could make Steve Martin laugh, then maybe one day I could enter this mysterious world of comedy. I tell this story a lot and feel bad if it ever sounds like he was not gracious. If someone walked up to my door and asked for my autograph, I’d be pissed, then move in a panic. Thanks, Steve!

The Birth Of An Anecdote

(By Steve Martin, Vanity Fair, December 2012)

 When I was 67, I knew I could make money by taking tourists by Judd Apatow’s house.  I had been a big fan ever since his first movie, Young Adults, Gotta Love ’Em.  One day I was driving the tour bus by Judd’s house, and I saw him making coffee in the kitchen.  I just knew my tourists would love to get his autograph, so I drove them up his driveway and a few of them rang his doorbell.  I suggested that others go around to the backyard. Judd finally came out and said, “What’s going on here?”  It was funny the way he said it, but I could picture Seth Rogen or Jonah Hill saying it and making it really funny.  Actually, I could see it becoming a movie, What’s Going On Here?  Anyway, he signed everyone’s autograph book and posed for pictures, and then he took me aside and said he was going to end my banjo career.  But now I have a great anecdote.

 

 

 

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/oscars/2012/12/note-from-judd-apatow-comedy-issue

This Is Presidential Foot Race Material?

The other day I was skimming through the paper and I saw the news that the Washington Nationals were going to add another president to their roster of mascots for the “racing Presidents” bit that happens every game.  That was kind of exciting.  It’s a way to take the onus off Teddy losing all the time.  With a new guy, now Teddy can win sometimes without jinxing the game, because the new guy will lose all the time.  At least, I think that’s what will happen.  The only question is what president will be the new mascot? 

I figure it has to be a president that served prior to at least Lyndon Johnson, otherwise politics might taint the enjoyment of the race.  You don’t want to hear comments from people saying things like “Carter won’t win the foot race- he runs away from everything.  Remember how the Iran hostage fiasco?”  Also, as much fun as it would be to hear what people would say during the race if George W. Bush or Bill Clinton were the new mascot, it isn’t going to happen, at least not for another 30 years.  Nor will it be Kennedy, because few things spoil the mood of a game like assassinations.  It won’t be Eisenhower or Truman either.  They are probably still too recent and their cloths look too modern- who wants to run a race wearing a boring old suit?  Nope, I figure it has to be someone much further back; someone who might wear britches or have a wig, or at least odd looking facial hair.

It will have to be someone distinctive in appearance so people can tell who it is from a distance.  That’s why it won’t be someone non-descript like Millard Fillmore, James K. Polk or Warren G. Harding.  Martin Van Buren, John Quincy Adams and Chester A. Arthur had some glorious muttonchops and would certainly make hilarious looking mascots.  You could definitely tell it was Van Buren standing next to Lincoln at the starting line.  Of course, funny looks isn’t enough cement a selection.  I would hope that accomplishment also plays a part in it.  You want someone that kids could respect if they decided to research their favorite racing president.  That would rule out Arthur and Van Buren, and Fillmore, Polk and Harding are once again ousted, to say nothing of “do-nothing” presidents like Buchanan and Tyler. 

My hope is that it turns out to be someone interesting looking, with a strong personality and record of accomplishments.  I would be thrilled if Andrew Jackson made it in.  He was a cool president- very dynamic and he had a lot of successes.  My only fear is that he looks a bit too much like Washington and Jefferson so management at the Nationals would pass him over in favor of someone slightly less deserving.  If that is the case, then consider Woodrow Wilson.  Yes, he is a suited president but it’s a pin-striped suit and he would have glasses.  That should count in his favor.  Barring that, my last two choices would be Grover Cleveland, because he is a real character and has a distinct look, or perhaps Ulysses Grant.  Imagine what fun it would be for the Nationals to have a bearded, besotted military man running around on the field?  Comedic gold!

I have not mentioned the most important remaining president as a contender though.  Franklin D. Roosevelt is certainly historically worthy and has a look that would convey well, like the Penguin from Batman comics, or Mr. Moneybags from Monopoly.  The problem is that he is wheelchair bound.  It would be a bit hard for a mascot to push a wheelchair on the grass of the ball field.  Yeah, it might be inspirational to show a handicapped person competing but logistically it would be hard to do.  Besides, this is supposed to be a foot race.  Aside from the obese William Howard Taft, FDR is the least likely president to be involved in a foot race.

Now I am relaxing here on a Sunday afternoon and reading the Sunday paper.  As I flip though the various sections I come to the sports section and see a giant head and white mustache and realize I’m looking at the new mascot.  I look at the caption and see that it is….  William F’ing Taft?  How am I supposed believe that this rotund, 300 plus pound President can walk around National park, much less run?  More importantly, Taft prevented Teddy from getting a third term as president.  Roosevelt had handpicked Taft as his successor and did not seek a third consecutive term so Taft easily got into office, based on Teddy’s endorsement.  When Roosevelt decided to run in the next election, Taft did not step aside for him in return.  Instead, they split the Republican vote and Taft got the nomination and forced Teddy to run as a third party candidate.   In the election, Roosevelt got 27% of the vote compared to Taft’s 25% while Woodrow Wilson won with just 41% of the vote.  Had Taft let TR get the nomination, Teddy would have won.  Man, I feel myself hating on Taft just from discussing this.  No way would I ever root for him during a ballgame.

So did Taft get selected mainly to be a foil to Teddy?  Jefferson and Washington didn’t have any beef with each other but Taft and TR did.  So now Teddy can win against his bitter rival?  Or is there additional considerations?  Maybe they will use Taft as a spoke-person against obesity?  (“Kids, if you don’t watch what you eat, you’ll be overweight like me and never win a foot race.”)  Based on the picture though, Taft is looking kinda trim- he doesn’t look portly at all.  In fact, he looks stern and dangerous.  Which is what I wanted to see in a mascot but I wanted it to be the look for Andrew Jackson.  Instead of “Old Hickory”, I get “Old Softy”?  I’ll see how it plays out during the races but just know now that I will always be rooting for either Teddy or Old Abe, never for the roly-poly back-stabbing Taft.  Let the races begin!  In…, um, three more months.

Ken’s Poker Tournament Summaries

Ken’s Poker Tournament Summary

From: Ken
Sent: Tue, Jun 16, 2015 12:24 pm
Subject: Tourny results + Billy WSOP main event

Hey Guys,

Sorry for the late posting:  The Inaugural Basement Tourney was a huge success , with a record number of participants.  Thank you to everyone who brought food to share:  Maria with her famous chocolate covered strawberries,  Jeff for his 300 chicken wings, Ken G for his chicken salad, and I apologize but I didn't see who brought the prosciutto cheese wraps, Veggies & Dip, cookies and pretzels.  

The notable event of the tournament:  after finishing on the bubble for every tournament I've ever seen him in - Richard broke through and cashed in the money, chopping with legendary Fast Eddies Regular Pete, joining us for the first time.  Welcome to the in crowd, Peter!  

Shout out to Ms. S. - as it was her idea to renovate our dumpy basement to man-cave it, with poker tournaments in mind.   For anyone who would like to reply with a thank you, I'll forward to her (of course to butter her up to hold tournaments more often).

Also - if you didn't know, Billy is entering the WSOP main event - and he'll be updating his twitter account with his daily progress next month, and in November.  If you'd like to follow, his address is:

Billy @XXXXXXX

See you all soon,

 

Ken

 

From: Ken
Date: January 25, 2015 at 5:46:32 PM EST
Subject: 1/24/15 results and NoVa survey

For a last second game - we ended up with 2 tables and 14 people,  of which I think I gave a bad beat to at leasts 10.  Fireworks started early when in the first rotation, Ahmed was All-In on a board of AQ2QQ.  Everyone at the table knew he had the Q except for the moron who called, who of course was me.  That left me with 1,400 in chips and 1 bet left.  I survived my first race with 99 and doubled up again with JJ, which allowed me to stay in long enough for Joe Mike to have his AA cracked by Maria's trip Jacks.   Joe Mike won the booby prize:  a trial bottle of Gold Body body powder (which I had "won" last tournament thanks to Billy).

Ahmed survived the worst beat of the night - flopping the nut flush vs my bottom pair, only to see it go runner runner boat, to get his revenge by knocking me out and finishing 3rd.  That left The Great American AJ heads up vs KenG:  and TGAAJ could not catch 20 outs with QJ to crack Ken's pocket 3s.  Congrats to Ahmed, AJ, and KenG - who at one time were all severely short stacked and battled back to place in the money.

Will host again soon - and this time I'll give more advanced notice.  Also, I would greatly appreciate if any of you could vote for us in NoVa magazine's "Best of" issue:  http://www.northernvirginiamag.com/best-of-survey/

See you all soon!

Ken

 

From: Ken
Date: January 3, 2015 at 12:44:06 AM EST
Subject: The Night of A/J

The first poker night of the year at Ms. Sanchez's house was kicked off by me getting knocked out first.  Billy took over half my stack early when his AA murdered my AK on a K high flop.  Then to add insult to injury he got the rest when he called my all in bet - after running through the possibilities he decided I likely had Q/J suited and called with A/10.  He gave me too much credit, as I had Q/J off.  An A on the turn sealed the deal and I won my own stupid prize.  And James wasn't there to give out any hugs.

Meanwhile over at Table 2 - a massive pot developed when we had a 4 way All-In pre:  55 for Ted, 88 for Will, JJ for Sam and AJ for Jeff.  An A on the flop was all Jeff needed to take a huge chip lead. Sam made a nice comeback, but his All In QQ was no match for Robins AJ - with an A right out of the gate.  Billy had a chance to double with 88, but he had no chance vs Jeff's AJ.  AJ was the hand of the night.

Robin and Jeff ended up heads up, and after doubling on a miracle river 8 with A/8 vs Jeffs A/10 - she couldn't catch up on a straight draw vs Jeffs KK.  Congrats Jeff for winning the first tournament of the year.

Stay tuned for the next date - I'll try for February.

Later all,

Ken

 

From: Ken

To: Richard Goodman <foreman315@aol.com>
Sent: Sat, Nov 22, 2014 12:47 pm
Subject: RE: Next home game!

Ah, got mixed up - I thought you Double Bubble'd instead of your customary bubble.  My apologies.

Omaha is a lot of fun, so many more variables.   I'll always be game for playing either.  We'll stick with regular NLH unless it's unanimous to play Omaha.  I don't want to learn any more games, my brain can't handle it.

---

To: Ken
Subject: Re: Next home game!
From: Richard
Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 12:43:48 -0500

I'll say yay.  (And I'm pretty sure I was the 4th place bubble because Joe Mike was already at the cash game when I left the tournament table.  In fact, I bubbled the whole night- 4th in tourney, didn't leave when I was up a little in the cash game, and continually playing catch up in my Omaha education.  Still, I had fun which is why I stuck around.)

-----Original Message-----
From: Ken
Sent: Sat, Nov 22, 2014 12:32 pm
Subject: Next home game!

If you believe it, Ms S. actually encouraged me to get another Tourney night on the calendar.  I smell a trap but still took the bait.  

Next game:  Friday, January 2nd - start time 6pm.  The usual:  $40 tournament with cash play afterwards.  As always, please Yay or Nay for a head count.

11/21 Recap:

Last night we welcomed Kevin (Fast Eddies Regular) to the crowd, and I promptly stuck him at the Monkey House Table (Will, Billy, Ian, Vic, myself and Corey).  Sorry about that Kevin, we're normally not that loud.  And when I say "we're", I mean Will, Billy, Ian, Vic and Corey.  Kevin didn't play his  best, but I think he was distracted by Billy's purse.

Ricky got flushed on the river and was knocked out first, winning the expired Zagnut.  Luckily for him, Corey had already eaten it.

Joe Mike was card dead, and it was reported that he never played a hand but still bubbled in 4th.  Chris and Will kept exchanging chips with each other until my AQ held up against Will's AJ - which put me heads up with the chip lead vs. Chris.  After losing 4 straight hands preflop, I gladly accepted The Quakers offer to chop.

Everyone have a happy holiday season, and hope to see you on the 2nd

Ken

 

From: Ken
Date: February 4, 2014 1:24:53 PM EST
To: "Richard
Subject: RE: Poker is cancelled

The one thing I've learned is that the industry is just filled with miserable people, and once the league stops being fun it's time to step away.  Or at least take a break.

Unfortunately for me, the answer was A.    :(

---

To: Ken
Subject: Re: Poker is cancelled
From: Richard
Date: Mon, 3 Feb 2014 19:55:26 -0500

Well that's a darn shame, again.  I'm am surprised at the number of regulars who dropped off once the move was made to the Red Zone (Jennifer, Julia, Dustin, Ricky, Omar/Amy, etc...) even though it was only 2-3 miles away (and may have even been closer for some people.)  Maybe they didn't like the new recruits who started playing lately, or the food, or something.

My answer for the question is a hedge- it probably was $15 although no should have given you credit for AA and they might have tried bluffing at the pot with a Q and ended up giving you $1,000.  I'm usually the only idiot who limps with AA and has the table's wild card decide to check/fold for the first time in two hours.

-----Original Message-----
From: Ken  
Sent: Mon, Feb 3, 2014 11:03 am
Subject: Poker is cancelled

Hello All,

James and I have decided to take a sabbatical from running our poker league, and we would like to thank all of our loyal participants - especially the band that we've been playing with for years. 

If a new opportunity arises, we'll let you know.  In the meantime, this will be my last email.  So for my last question:

Extra chips (whenever it may be) for anyone who can answer:

I'm playing deepstack cash game (2/5 NL) last Friday.  I'm under the gun with AA.  I limp for 5.  It folds around to the small blind who calls.  Big blind checks.  Flop comes AAQ.  How much money do I end up making?

A)  $15

B)  $250
C)  $1000
D)  I'm still stacking my chips.

Later all!

Ken

 

From: Ken
Date: July 14, 2013 1:09:59 AM EDT
Subject: Sneak in Tournament

With Big Mama out of town, it was time to sneak in a home tournament.  We had 17 participants, and it didn't take long for Ricky to be knocked out as the first casualty.  Lucky for him, I forgot to buy the "First Out Prize", which in the past has been expired Potted Meat, a Zagnut, or Sugar Dots.

With 5 left, we decided to give 4th and 5th their money back - then the standard 50/30/20 split.  Jack was poised to make a run, doubling up twice late - but finally ran out of steam and settled for 5th.  I was next out, my AK running into Sam's KK.  Robin played great in her first showing with us, and settled for 3rd.  Richard, who at one point had 2 big blinds left - roared back and would have been almost even with Sam while heads up, but an unfortunate turn card sealed the deal for a 2nd place finish.  Sam was the man of the hour, who not only won the tournament - but it seemed like he knocked out half the field.

Then it was on to the cash game - and all I can tell you was first Omar doubled up flopping a set vs my KK......then knocked me out turning a straight nullifying my top pair.  Bah Humbug.  All in all another fun night of poker, I'll check the summer schedule and try for an August game.

Later all,

Ken

Ken’s summary of his game on January 5th, 2013:

Welcome to the club to our new members: Aimee , Omar, Wes and welcome back Corey. I think you all learned the 2 basic rules to play with us:

1) have fun

2) trash talk with Vic

We had 2 tables packed, and placed the top 4. James wasn't available for a hug - so the prize for first person knocked out was a Zagnut candy bar. Wes got knocked out shortly after the announcement, and happily ate it while still sitting at the table.  The bubble prize was a package of those disgusting colored sugar dots.....and when we got down to 5, the game tightened up because nobody wanted to "win" it. Finally I had to push with A/Q and Omar called with 99. I flopped my Ace and avoided the insult of winning the candy that I had bought.

Once we got down to 4, it went very fast. Ahmed came in 4th, and I'm pretty sure he was just itching to get into the cash game Billy started up on table 2. Pat then knocked me out - and in doing so became the first person to knock both me and Billy out of the same tournament.....since the last time he played with us. That left Pat vs Chris, who was saved earlier by cracking Corey's AA with QQ all in pre and the mircle Q on the river. In a heads up war of attrition, I think it lasted 2 hands - with Chris winning with something beating something.

We ended up playing cash until about 2am, and I remember two things:

1) Stephen flopping Quad Aces that wasn't the nuts - he had to dodge Vic's straight flush draw

2) Aimee losing an all in pot with her 2 pair to Omar's straight - and at the conclusion of the hand she raked the chips as if she had won.  Omar calmly asked "Is this what it's like being married?" Pat and I answered in unison: "Yes!"

Good times.

Ken’s summary of his game on July 24, 2011:
Sent: Sun, Jul 24, 2011 1:01 am
Subject: 7/23 Tourny Night At Ken's House

16 participants tonight - separated by 2 tables: The Quiet Adult Serious Poker Players, and The Monkey House Kiddie Table.  Randy was FKOotN (First Knock out of the Night) - who hit a straight and ran into Billy's full house. 

Welcome to the club Richard and Will. Richard was on his way to the final table until his KK was cracked by my preflop all-in AK. Sorry about that Richard. Will fared a bit better, riding his success from the Monkey House table all the way to 4th - happily winning the Bubble Prize: a can of stale Coors Light that expired in 2008. He even took a swig (and turned green).

James finished 3rd when his QQ was cracked by Joe's JJ. About even in chips, Joe and Billy chopped first.  I would have played a lot better, but when the house hit 83 degrees - I got distracted by my BO.  Great fun tonight - thanks all.

Ken