“You Have Been Randomly Selected…”

“What is this?”, you may be asking.  That is easy. It is a CD, they contain music and you put them in a player of CDs and the songs on them flow out and surround you and make your spirits soar.  “Why do I have these?”, you may also be asking.  Well, that is a little harder to answer because it involves assumptions, some back story and a little self-pity as well.  But since you did ask, even if it was only after I stated that question for you just now, I’ll tell you the why.  Here’s the back story.  Last year, I wrote up my Year In Music review and posted it on FaceBook and my blog and asked people to let me know if they wanted a copy of the CDs I made.  Many of you did.  I hope you enjoyed hearing them because I enjoyed sharing them with you.   

This year, I wrote up a music review again and posted it on my blog (http://richardsrantingandramblings.blogspot.com/2012/05/year-in-music-2011.html).  I made a batch of CDs in anticipation of sending them out to people again and I asked you to let me know if you wanted one.  That was the assumption part.  Now here comes the self-pity part, which is a little pathetic, I must say, and I don’t look that dignified by revealing it either but I’m going to say it anyway:  No one asked for a CD!  Not a single person.  Granted, the offer was made way down in the fourth paragraph and sounded a little off-the-cuff and casual but still, no one asked.  That meant either they didn’t want one or they didn’t read the blog post.  Both of those possibilities made me feel a little sad.  I might even have teared up a little.  I’m not saying I did, mind you; I’m just saying “maybe”.  (Okay, I did.)  Now I have ten CDs left that are just sitting around, as a constant reminder that I’m not they aren’t wanted.  It’s a little depressing so I have decided to send them out to people and give them a new home, a place for the my own inhabitants of the Island Of Misfit Toys.

You have a set in your hands right now because you were randomly selected from my group of friends and acquaintances because either 1) You asked for them last year and I’m going to pretend that you wanted them again this year but forgot to ask me (Just work with me here, okay?) or 2) You seem to be interested in music and might appreciate hearing some new things.  That is the “Why” and the “What” and now things are in your hands, literally.  These are really good songs, really.  Really.  You might not like all of them but I’m hoping you come across a couple that you like a lot and that get stuck in your head, an earworm that lodges itself so deep that the song comes to you in the shower, or in the car or even when you are dreaming.  Please give these songs a home. For only zero cents a day, you make life better for this CD.  Act now- go put them in your CD playing device and show them that somebody cares.  Then tell me they are in a better place, that they are better off than when they were gathering dust on my shelf.   You can lie to me if you like, I don’t mind.  If just one song is better off than before, I will consider this awareness campaign a success and I will thank you for that.  But I sure as hell won’t pre-make any discs next year.

Sleigh Bells Sucks?

(July 4, 2012)

I can’t stand the group Sleigh Bells even though I should love them.  They play fragmented, splintered, noise-core rock music that includes interludes and snatches of melodic pop sounds.  The reason I’m surprised by this is because Skinny Puppy does the same thing and I love them.  Crystal Castles does it too and I adore them.  In fact, disjointed cacophonic pop-rock hybrids are one of my favorite niches: Daft Punk’s first album, Forest For The Trees only album, The Avalanches, half of the things Beck has done, Ministry, all enjoyable.  Sleigh Bells- makes me want to hit the fast-forward button.  I just finished reading an interview with them in Spin magazine in which they discussed some of their influences.  The main songwriter- Derek Miller (I think that’s his name)- name checks Roxette, Chicago, Cyndi Lauper, and Def Lepperd in addition to some hard-core/metal bands.  Frigging Roxette! 

So why don’t I like their band?  Do they actually suck and I’ve just been brainwashed by reviewers trying to convince me that they are awesome?  I had bought their first album and hated it but after reading glowing reviews about their second album including the article I just finished, I started listening to their second album on Spotify.  It sounds just like their first one and every song sounds almost the same as the previous one.  The schtick got old real fast.  I had to switch over to Best Coast, another over-hyped band but at least one that I can enjoy.  So is it just me or does Sleigh Bells suck?

More Glove Haiku

After my recent post about poetry and haiku and pictures of gloves (http://richardsrantingandramblings.blogspot.com/2012/04/glove-haiku-you-can-do-haiku-too.html), I couldn’t help myself when a few more pictures caught my eye.  I had to come up with some “fitting” glove haikus for the pictures on my friend’s Facebook page.   Here are the new ones, along with the corresponding pictures.     

Looking for my mate

Slimming black and stripes will help

I'm a good catch though

 

Man, I have, you know,

A real killer headache.

Hey, what was that noise?


 

Where did you go, kid?

Ya got no damn work ethic.

I'll do it myself.

Glove Haiku, Part Two

I came across another picture from my glove loving friend and it inspired me to come up with an appropriate “Glove Haiku”.  So, here’s the picture and the haiku.  If she puts up some more, I may add this post.

  

Why are they staring?

Yeah, I feel out of sorts but....

Oh, my gloves are boots.

 

A chameleon.
You do not see him at all,
But he wants you to

I'm ready to go in,

Been killing it in practice.

I will own this game.

 

 

Why America Has Some Problems

While I think America is an amazing country, there are times when I'm embarrassed by my fellow citizens.  Here are some visual reasons that illustrate my ocassional dismay:

People like this guy who forget that function is more important than perceived fashion.

People who don't understand that it is not all about them. Why try to circumvent the team and make it all about you? And then be proud of it?

Not leaving workers alone to work and having to accommodate so many people's directives and opinions that nothing gets done.









Some social network profile picture taking (courtesy of Flavorwire...
http://www.flavorwire.com/299212/amusing-and-poignant-photos-of-social-media-self-portraits-in-progress#11   ) that shows self-absorbed jackasses who think everything is based on looks, who cares about intelligence and kindness.  Unfortunately, they are sometimes right which is even more depressing.



And then there are those who fine with thinking it is all about looks but don't realize that they aren't very attractive.  I do love her door though, and the walls in the previous picture.

Why? (Song Version)

Why has the Black Keys song "Sister" not been dominating the airwaves for the past couple of months?  Not only is it the best song on the album but every time I heard it, I immediately want to play it again.  Isn't that the definition of "catchy"?  Isn't that what it takes to sell a song?

Why does the new Maroon 5 album not include the hit song "Moves Like Jagger"?  Wouldn't that help move more copies of the whole album?  Since it isn't on there, I'm going to have to wait to see if there is anything else on it that I like, because while "Payphone" is pleasant enough, it doesn't make me wanna rush out and buy something from Maroon 5.  Has Adam Levine's time passed?  He couldn't even repeat as the winning coach on "The Voice".  Instead it was won by Blake Shelton, who is a cool dude, with some guy who wasn't even my favorite of the finalists, much less the competition. 

Why is the song "Hands" not on The Ting Tings new album?  I know they scrapped the album they had originally done as the followup to their debut album and instead wrote all new material, so perhaps they tried to distance themselves from this slightly cheesy but insinuatingly catchy castoff. That would be a valid argument except for the fact that IT'S INCLUDED ON THE EUROPEAN VERSION OF THE ALBUM!  Why isn't it on the American version?  It's not like there isn't plenty of room on the CD for extra/bonus tracks.  Instead I had to pay extra to download it individually.

Carly Rae Jepsen?  It's not a bad song but why is it one of the contenders for "song of the summer"?  I'd rather hear Cruel Summer, the all-time champ of summer songs.  Maybe even Will Smith's "Summertime".  If I have to be current though, why not something by Calvin Harris, Rhianna or Flo'Rida (Did I actually just say Flo'Rida?).  I might even try to sneak in Imagine Dragons song "It's Time" because the mandolin (or is it a ukulele) sound is sorta of summery and fun.  (Although it sounded better when I first heard it, in the Boy Least Likely To's song "When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Lemonade".)  Here's a neat overview of classic summer songs.
http://www.billboard.com/features/top-30-summer-songs-1004101310.story#/features/top-30-summer-songs-1004101310.story

Why did I not hear about the Traci Lords song "Last Drag" sooner and why wasn'ty it a bigger hit?  Or any kind of hit at all?  Why do I have a feeling that the latest albums and songs from Garbage, Ladyhawke and The Dandy Warhols are going to disappear without creating much of a ripple on the musical pond?

Random Email String- April 19th, 2012

From: Glowicz, Elizabeth
Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2012 11:03 AM
To:   Goodman, Richard, Cc:   'Nowlin, Brian'
Subject:  RE: Birthday Dinner for Leona This Sat Apr 21 7:00PM Brian's House

No. Just y-o-u remember Stars on 45, Mr. Disco. The rest of us successfully put it out our minds. It was hard work, all was well, we were living our lives and then you bring that crap up again. You’ll pay for this Richard Goodman. You’ll pay.

From: Goodman, Richard
Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2012 10:28 AM

No.  Those are good guesses but they are wrong.  Although that does sound like a good title for a mix CD.  “No One Wants Richard in Their Car”- I can start it off with Billy Ocean’s “Get Out Of My Car”, then Tom Petty’s “Don’t Come Around Here No More”, followed by the Car’s “Since You’ve Gone” and Cracker’s “Gett Off”.  The possibilities are endless.  I wish I owned a studio.  Or had some computer app that would let me mix songs to create my own Stars On 45 song.  (Anyone remember Stars On 45?  Anyone?)

From: Glowicz, Elizabeth
Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2012 10:04 AM

Could title be…. “Richard Who?”?  Or maybe “No One Wants Richard in Their Car”?  Hmm….

From: Goodman, Richard
Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:59 AM

Yes, I’ve been to your house.  Once.  And I wasn’t driving so why would I pay attention to the address?  I wouldn’t mind carpooling but if no one wants me in their car, I’m assuming you are somewhere near a Metro stop that is crime-free?  (If I do ride with Elizabeth though, I do have a CD for her that I found at a news stand in Heathrow airport- one that she would never ever guess the title of.  Really, she never would.)

From: Nowlin, Brian

Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:38 AM

What is your Radiant address Elizabeth?  I really didn’t expect Richard to remember the address.  I thought maybe you would drive him.

From: Glowicz, Elizabeth

Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:36 AM

And I’ve been to Richard’s house and I couldn’t tell you his address either. Been to John’s, too, and nada. Don’t retain specifics just how to get there because I don’t care because it’s not my house. You hip, trendy, I-own-a-smart-phone guys just work it out between yourselves.

From: Nowlin, Brian

Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:30 AM

…but you’ve been there!  It is XXX G St. NE.

From: Glowicz, Elizabeth
Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2012 5:40 AM

I’ve cc’ed him here so you can contact him re: where he lives. Also, carpooling may be an option. Check with Dave. And note correction to date. Yes, it’s still this Saturday but the date should read the 21st, not the 22nd.

From: Goodman, Richard
Sent: Wednesday, April 18, 2012 4:58 PM

I would like to go.  I don’t know where Brian lives though….

From: Glowicz, Elizabeth

Sent: Wednesday, April 18, 2012 2:02 PM

RSVP.

The FP = WTF?

I was just looking at the movie listings to see if anything intresting opened yesterday and I came across this description of a something called "The FP".  I'd never heard of it before so I'm sure it is a piece of junk but after the reading the summary of the movie, I kind of want to see it.  Below is the summary.  Read it and tell me if you don't want to see this bizarro mish-mash of a movie.

"In a dystopian future, a relentless turf war rages. Two rival gangs feud for control of rural wasteland Frazier Park ('The FP') in the deadly arena of competitive dance-fight video game "Beat-Beat Revelation." After hometown hero BTRO is slain on the dance platform by thug leader L Dubba E, his protégé younger brother JTRO (Jason Trost) goes into isolation, vowing never to duel again. One year later, The FP is in ruins, and JTRO must find the courage to return and restore order in a ruthless battle for revenge that can only leave one man dancing. From the producers of Paranormal Activity and featuring narration by James Remar (The Warriors), THE FP is a fury of fierce footwork, triumphant montages and neon street wear that Moviefone calls "a rare ready-made cult hit." -- (C) Drafthouse"